The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [46]
President Chirac and Gerry Adams sometimes appear God-like
If you want to look as if you are confident and have all the right answers, the Steeple position will do it for you.
Using Steepling to Win at Chess
Picture this scene—you're playing chess and it's your turn to move. You move your hand over the chessboard and rest your finger on a chess piece, indicating you intend to move that piece. You then notice your opponent sit back and make the Steeple gesture. Your opponent has just told you, nonverbally, that he feels confident about your move so your best strategy is not to make it. You next touch another chess piece and see your opponent assume the Hands-Clenched gesture or Arms-Crossed position, signaling that he doesn't like your potential move—so you should make it.
The Steeple has two main versions: the Raised Steeple, the position often assumed when the Steepler is giving his opinions or ideas or is doing the talking; and the Lowered Steeple, which is normally used when the Steepler is listening rather than speaking.
The Lowered Steeple
Women tend to use the Lowered Steeple position more often than the Raised Steeple. When the Raised Steeple is taken with the head tilted back, the person takes on an air of smugness or arrogance.
Although the Steeple gesture is a positive signal, it can be used in either positive or negative circumstances and may be misinterpreted. For example, let's say you are presenting an idea to someone and have seen them using several positive gestures during the presentation, such as open palms, leaning forward, head up, nodding, and so on. Let's say that toward the end of your presentation the other person begins to Steeple.
If the Steeple follows a series of other positive gestures and appears when you show the other person the solution to his problem, it's likely you've been given the go-ahead to “ask for the order.” On the other hand, if the Steeple gesture follows a series of negative gestures such as arm folding, leg crossing, looking away, and hand-to-face gestures, he may be confident that he won't say yes or that he can get rid of you. In both these cases the Steeple registers confidence, but one has positive results and the other negative consequences. The gestures preceding the Steeple are the key to the outcome.
Summary
Your hands are always in front of you, revealing your emotions and attitudes. Many body-language gestures can be difficult to learn, but hand gestures can be practiced and rehearsed to a point where you can have fairly good control over where your hands are and what they are doing. When you learn to read hand gestures you'll look more confident, feel more successful, and win more chess games.
The Face Platter
The Face Platter— presenting her face for a man to admire
This is not a negative gesture—it's a positive one used in courtship. It's used mainly by women and by gay men who want to attract a man's attention. A woman will place one hand on top of the other and present her face to a man as if it was on a platter for him to admire.
If you are going to use flattery—sincere or not—this gesture gives the green light for it.
Holding Hands Behind the Back
The Duke of Edinburgh and several other male members of the British Royal Family are noted for their habit of walking with head up, chin out, and one hand holding the other hand behind the back. This gesture is common among leaders and royalty and is used by the policemen patrolling the beat, the headmaster walking around the school playground, senior military personnel, and anyone in a position of authority.
Back and front views of the
superiority-confidence gesture
The emotions attached to this gesture are superiority, confidence, and power. The person exposes their vulnerable stomach, heart, crotch, and throat in a subconscious act of fearlessness. Our experience shows that, if you take this position when you are in a high-stress situation, such as being interviewed by newspaper