The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [76]
More people lock their ankles with
the taxman than with the dentist.
Our work with law enforcement and government bodies, such as the police, customs, and the tax office, showed that most people who were being interviewed locked their ankles at the beginning of the interviews, but this was just as likely to be from fear as from guilt.
We also analyzed the human resources profession and found that most interviewees lock their ankles at some point during an interview, indicating that they were holding back an emotion or attitude. Nierenberg and Calero found that when one party locked his ankles during a negotiation it often meant that he was holding back a valuable concession. They found that by using questioning techniques they could often encourage him to unlock his ankles and reveal the concession.
Asking positive questions about their feelings
can often get others to unlock their ankles.
In the initial stages of studying the Ankle Lock, we found that asking questions was reasonably successful (42 percent) in getting interviewees to relax and unlock their ankles. We discovered, however, that if an interviewer walks around to the interviewee's side of the desk and sits beside him, removing the desk as a barrier, the interviewee would often relax and unlock his ankles and the conversation would take on an open, more personal tone.
We were advising a company on effective customer telephone contact when we met a man who had the unenviable job of customer debt collection. We watched him make a number of calls and although he sounded relaxed, we noticed that when he talked with customers his ankles were continually locked together beneath his chair, but he didn't do this when he was talking with us. When asked, “How do you enjoy this work?” he replied, “Fine! It's a lot of fun.” The verbal statement was inconsistent, however, with his nonverbal signals, although he did look and sound convincing. “Are you sure?” we asked. He paused for a moment, unlocked his ankles, and, with open palms, said, “Well, actually, it drives me crazy!” He said that he receives several calls each day from customers who are rude or aggressive and he practiced holding back his feelings in order not to communicate them to customers. We also recorded that salespeople who don't enjoy using the telephone commonly sit in the Ankle Lock position.
The Short Skirt Syndrome
Women who wear miniskirts cross their legs and ankles for obvious, necessary reasons. Through years of habit, however, many older women still sit in this position, which can not only make them feel restrained, but others are likely to unconsciously read it as negative and react toward these women with caution.
Miniskirts can give a woman the
appearance that she's not approachable.
Some people will still claim they sit in the Ankle Lock position, or for that matter any negative arm and leg position, because they feel “comfortable.” If you are in this category, remember that any arm or leg position will feel comfortable when you hold a defensive, negative, or reserved attitude.
A negative gesture can increase or prolong a negative attitude, and other people will read you as being apprehensive, defensive, or nonparticipant. Practice using positive and open gestures; this will improve your self-confidence and others will perceive you in a more positive way.
The Leg Twine
This gesture is almost exclusively used by women and is a trademark of shy and timid women and part-time contortionists. The top of one foot locks around the other leg to reinforce an insecure attitude and shows she has retreated into her shell like a tortoise, despite how relaxed her upper body may appear. A warm, friendly, low-key approach is needed if you eventually hope to open this clam.
Shy, timid people use the Leg Twine
Parallel Legs
Because of the bone configuration of female legs and hips, most men can't sit like this so it becomes a powerful signal of femininity. Not surprisingly, over 86 percent of male participants in