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to do all the work and probably take work home because they are poor time managers. Slim briefcases say that the owner is only concerned with the bottom line and therefore has more status. Always carry a briefcase to one side, preferably in your left hand, which allows you to shake hands smoothly with your right hand without fumbling. If you're a woman, never carry a briefcase and handbag at the same time—you will be perceived as less businesslike and more disorganized. And never use a briefcase as a barrier between you and another person.

Summary

Regardless of what type of object or thing we choose to handle, wear, or smoke, there are special signals and rituals we display without awareness. The more of these objects we use, the more we signal our intentions or emotions. Learning how to read these signals gives you a second set of body-language cues to observe.

Chapter 14

HOW THE BODY

POINTS TO WHERE THE

MIND WANTS TO GO

Often, the body goes one way while

the mind goes another

Have you ever been talking with someone and had the feeling he would rather be elsewhere than with you, even though he seems to be enjoying your company? A still photograph of that scene would probably reveal two things: first, the person's head is turned toward you and facial signals such as smiling and nodding are evident; and second, the person's body and feet are pointing away from you, either toward another person or toward an exit. The direction in which a person points his body or feet is a signal of where he would prefer to be going.

The man on the right indicating he wants to leave

The above illustration shows two men talking in a doorway. The man on the left is trying to hold the other man's attention, but his listener wants to continue in the direction his body is pointing, although his head is turned to acknowledge the other man's presence. It is only when the man on the right turns his body toward the other that a mutually interesting conversation can take place.

In any face-to-face meeting, when one person has decided to end the conversation or wants to leave, he will turn his body or feet to point toward the nearest exit. If this was a conversation involving you, it's a signal that you should do something to get the person involved and interested or else terminate the conversation on your terms, allowing you to maintain control.

What Body Angles Say

1. Open Positions

We stated earlier that the distance between people is related to their degree of interest or intimacy. The angle at which people orient their bodies also gives nonverbal clues to their attitudes and relationships.

Most animals, if they want to fight with another animal, will signal this by approaching head-on. If the other animal accepts the challenge, it will reciprocate by also standing head-on. The same applies to humans. If, however, the animal wants to check out the other animal at close range but doesn't intend to attack, it will approach side-on, just as friendly dogs do. And so it is with humans. A speaker who takes a strong attitude to his listener while standing straight and facing them directly is perceived as aggressive. The speaker who delivers exactly the same message but points his body away from the listener is seen as confident and goal-oriented but not as aggressive.

To avoid being seen as aggressive, we stand with our bodies angled at forty-five degrees to each other during friendly encounters to form an angle of 90 degrees.

Each standing at forty-five-degree angles to avoid coming across as aggressive

The picture above shows two men with their bodies angled toward an imaginary third point to form a triangle shape. The angle formed indicates that a nonaggressive conversation is probably taking place and they are also displaying similar status by mirroring. The formation of the triangle invites a third person to join in the conversation. If a fourth person is accepted into the group, a square is formed and, for a fifth and sixth person, either a circle or two new triangles are formed.

In confined