The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [95]
2. Closed Positions
When two people want intimacy, their body angle changes from forty-five degrees to zero degrees; that is, they face each other. A man or woman who wants to monopolize a person's attention uses this position, as well as other courtship gestures, when they make their play. A man will not only point his body toward a woman, he also closes the distance between them as he moves into her Intimate Zone. To accept his approach, she need only orient her body angle to zero degrees and allow him to enter her space. The distance between two people standing in a Closed Position is usually less than in the open formation.
Direct Body Pointing in the Closed Position to attempt to get a captive audience
In addition to courtship displays, both may mirror each other's gestures and increase eye contact if they are both interested. The Closed Position can also be used between people who are hostile toward each other in order to issue a challenge.
Research has shown that men fear attack from the front and are more wary of a frontal approach, while women fear attack from behind and are wary of approaches from the rear. So never stand front-on with a male you have just met. He perceives it as aggression from a man and sexual interest from a woman. If you are male, it's acceptable to approach a woman from the front and eventually you can angle yourself to forty-five degrees.
How We Exclude Others
The next illustration shows the forty-five-degree Open Position taken by the first two people, which invites a third person to join in the conversation.
Open triangular position encouraging the entry of a third person
If a third person wants to join two others who are standing in a Closed Position, he'll be invited only when the other two angle their bodies to form the triangle. If the third person is not accepted, the others will hold the Closed Position and turn only their heads toward him as a sign of recognition; and they will probably give tight-lipped smiles.
Time to leave— the new person is not accepted by the others
A conversation between three people may begin in the open triangle position but eventually two people may take the Closed Position to exclude the third person. This group formation is a clear signal to the third person that he should leave the group to avoid embarrassment.
Seated Body Pointing
Crossing the knees toward another person shows a sign of interest in or acceptance of that person. If the other person also becomes interested, he will cross knees toward the first person. As the two people become more involved with each other they begin to mirror each other's movements and gestures.
Body Pointing is used to close off a couple and exclude the man on the right
In the picture above, the man and woman to the left have formed a closed position that excludes all others, such as the man on the right. The only way in which the man on the right could participate in the conversation would be to move a chair to a position in front of the couple and attempt to form a triangle, or take some other action to break their closed formation. But for now, they'd like him to take a long walk off a short pier.
Foot Pointing
Not only do the feet serve as pointers indicating the direction in which a person's mind is going, they also point at people who we find the most interesting or attractive. Imagine you are at a social function and you notice a group of three men and one woman. The conversation seems to be dominated by the men, and the woman is just listening. Then you notice that the men all have their front foot pointing toward the woman.
Feet signaling what's on the owner's mind
With this simple nonverbal cue, the men are each telling the woman they're interested in her. On a subconscious level, she sees the foot gestures and is likely to stay with the group for as