The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [99]
These first five stages of courtship may seem minor or even incidental, but they are critical to starting any new relationship and are the stages that most people, especially men, find difficult. This chapter will examine the signals that are most likely to be sent by men and women—and Graham—during these stages.
The Thirteen Most Common Female Courtship Gestures and Signals
Women use most of the same basic preening gestures as men, including touching the hair, smoothing the clothing, one or both hands on hips, foot and body pointing toward the man, extended intimate gaze, and increasing eye contact. Some women will also adopt the Thumbs-in-Belt gesture, which, although it's a male-assertion gesture, is used more subtly: usually only one thumb is tucked into a belt or protrudes from a handbag or pocket.
Women become more sexually active in the middle of their menstrual cycle, when they are most likely to conceive. It's during this time that they are more likely to wear shorter dresses and higher heels, to walk, talk, dance, act more provocatively, and to use the signals we are about to discuss. What follows is a list of the thirteen most common courtship gestures and signals used by women everywhere to show a man that she could be available.
1. The Head Toss and Hair Flick
This is usually the first display a woman will use when she's around a man she fancies. The head is flicked back to toss the hair over the shoulders or away from the face. Even women with short hair will use this gesture. It's a way for a woman subtly to show that she cares about how she looks to a man. This also lets her expose her armpit, which allows the “sex perfume” known as pheromones to waft across to the target man.
Preening the hair and letting pheromones in the armpit work their magic
2. Wet Lips and Pouting, Mouth Slightly Open
At puberty, a boy's facial bone structure alters dramatically as testosterone gives him a stronger, protruding jawline, larger nose, and more pronounced forehead—all the essentials for protection to the face during encounters with animals or enemies. Girls' bone structure remains largely unchanged and childlike, with more subcutaneous fat, which makes the female adolescent face appear thicker and fuller, particularly the lips. Larger, thicker lips therefore become a signal of femaleness because of their contrast in size to male lips. Some women have collagen injected into their lips to overstate this sexual difference and thereby make themselves more appealing to men. Pouting simply increases the lip display.
A woman's outer genital lips are proportionately the same thickness to her facial lips. Desmond Morris describes this as “self-mimicry,” as it is intended to symbolize the female genital region. The lips can be made to appear wet either by the use of saliva or cosmetics, giving a woman the appearance of sexual invitation.
When a woman becomes sexually aroused, her lips, breasts, and genitals become larger and redder as they fill with blood. The use of lipstick is an Egyptian invention that is four thousand years old and is intended to mimic the reddened genitals of the sexually aroused female. This explains why, in experiments using photos of women wearing various lipstick colors, men consistently find the bright reds the most attractive and sensual.
Sex sirens instinctively know how to use mouth and lip displays to get attention
3. Self-Touching
As stated earlier, our minds get our bodies to act out our secret desires—and so it is with Self-Touching. Women have dramatically more nerve sensors for experiencing touch than men, making them more sensitive to touch sensations. When a woman slowly and sensually strokes her thigh, neck, or throat it implies that, if a man plays his cards right, he may be able to touch her in these same ways. At the same time, her self-touch lets her imagine what it Most pictures of women in sensual poses might feel like if the man include plenty of Self-Touching was initiating the touch.