The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [12]
“No,” he said, “I don’t think we used cloth diapers with my little sister.”
“Really,” I asked, “you guys had disposables in the ’80s?”
“No,” he said, “I don’t remember that, either.”
The conversation—which was getting annoying—stopped there. Rachan can’t ever remember his childhood, anyway, I thought, I am sure they used cloth. That was the end of it until my ninth month when Rachan was browsing the Web and found the DiaperFreeBaby site. “This is it!” he said, grabbing me away from my book. “We didn’t use diapers. This is what my mom did. I can still hear her voice saying ‘shhh pssst shhhh pssst’ to my little sister.”
He was over the moon about the EC movement in the United States; I, however, was committed to disposable diapers. I ruled out/laughed off EC, and once again, the conversation stopped there.
When we got home from the hospital it was disposable diapers all the way. But about a week after the baby was born, I was awoken from a nap to the sound of my mother-in-law saying “Shhh pssst shhhh psssst.” I knew instantly what it was—and thought of the smile on Rachan’s face when he recalled it.
We never discussed disposables, cloth diapers, or EC; it just happened. My mother-in-law started taking Jesse to the bathroom. I noticed we were saving lots on diapers. In fact, he grew out of the newborn size before we could finish the first pack. I realized that he was happy—noticeably happy—when he would pee or poop in the potty. On the other hand, he was unhappy—noticeably unhappy—sitting in a wet or dirty diaper for even a minute (uh, who wouldn’t be?).
Like every mom, I wanted what was best for my son, and it was clear to me in every way that given the option, EC was his first choice. So, while it doesn’t happen often, I’ll admit this time I was wrong and my husband was right. EC saves us money, keeps our baby clean, and best of all, makes our special boy very, very happy.
—ANGELA, MOM TO JESSE, 15 MONTHS
GOING AGAINST THE TIDE: GETTING SUPPORT FROM OTHERS
Although you may be convinced and excited to practice EC, it’s common to face skepticism from others. There will be times when it feels like every aspect of your parenting is up for public scrutiny and discussion. Toileting your child—no matter what his age—is no exception.
You may actually be surprised, however, at who does support you. Many EC’ers report that their extended family members are very enthusiastic. Many proud grandparents are excited about what their grandchildren can do! And many parents who raised their children in a previous generation might actually be less resistant to the concept of an infant using a potty because this was not entirely unknown some decades ago. Remember, in my case, it was actually my own mother who first bought a potty for my barely-one-year-old. Other EC’ers I know report the same phenomenon: their mothers or grandmothers are the first ones to suggest putting their babies on the potty when they notice that the babies are going to the bathroom.
It can be a bit trickier when EC comes up with friends or relatives who also have young children, especially if they have made different parenting choices. Breast versus bottle, crib sleeping versus co-sleeping, and working versus staying at home all have the unfortunate potential to feel like divisive, even explosive, choices, and EC versus conventional toilet training is no different.
First of all, although it may feel difficult, try to be diplomatically firm about which family choices you are or are not willing to discuss. It’s helpful to begin by showing your appreciation for the love and concern that the person you’re addressing has for you and your child. This acknowledgment may help him or her remain open-minded when you explain that you have thought things through carefully and have made good decisions