The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [13]
Even if you remain private about EC, it’s inevitable that at some point, someone is going to notice that you are taking your baby to the bathroom for something other than a diaper change. There are many misconceptions about EC. Some people might wonder aloud if it is coercive for the baby. Others may feel defensive about their own choices, or sad if they realize that their babies have been trying to communicate with them and they haven’t noticed. It’s also very common for people to feel indignant about EC because they see it as a throwback to a time when women in particular had fewer choices and led labor-intensive lives. EC is erroneously envisioned as being utterly overwhelming for the parent.
So what can you say in response to genuine but concerned queries about EC?
I’ve found that nearly everyone gains a different perspective on the practice when they realize it’s simply another viable option for dealing with elimination. People are often receptive when I mention that exclusively diapered babies have actually been trained to go in their diapers. I often point out that many newborns will pee when their diapers are off, only to stop doing so as they become conditioned to go only in a diaper. (Some babies will even wait and go to the bathroom as soon as they’re changed into a fresh diaper!) Parents who diaper their babies full-time are training their babies to use the diaper for their toileting needs, a habit parents will have to “unteach” a few years down the road. (And, of course, that option suits a lot of parents and children just fine.) But practicing EC even part-time or occasionally means your baby will not be exclusively diapered, and this has many great benefits. Such a realization helps people understand that full-time diapering is not the only choice they have.
Many parents I’ve spoken to also feel that there’s actually little difference between the labor involved in EC and the labor involved in exclusive diapering, especially when you factor in the hard work that exclusive diaperers face when working with their older, diaper-reliant children. Parents practice EC in ways that fit their family situations, and for many families, this means some degree of part-time EC (even the full-time EC category has a built-in degree of part-time EC). Part-time or occasional EC—as little as one opportunity a day or less—takes very little time. Dressing your baby in easy-access clothing during the times you are at home and able to practice EC will make it even more convenient.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Because EC is carried out in such a natural, gentle, supportive way, people who have the chance to spend some time with you and your child will quickly see that this is not a coercive training program but rather a great way to follow your baby’s cues and natural biological development. Thus your critics will probably become quite supportive of you. At the very least they are likely to recognize and respect the choice that you have made for you and your family.
When we first started practicing EC, one of my friends said, “Oh, that sounds like training the parents,” and my response was, “Well, yeah, just as much as learning to feed her when she’s hungry.”
—KATE, MOM TO LUCIA, 6 MONTHS
I was a closet EC’er for a long while. My parents and close friends knew we were doing it, but they sort of snickered and rolled their eyes about it. I didn’t tell the moms at our playgroup until a conversation about infant potty training came up with a lot of misconceptions being thrown around. I couldn’t not say anything, and by then we were pretty confident about our decision and choice to EC.
—GIGI, MOM TO BEN, 18 MONTHS
I can’t recommend EC enough. Our