The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [27]
It may also be very comfortable for your baby if you hold her in the in-arms position but do it over a bowl or a loose or open diaper. You can even position baby to pee in a Potty Bowl in your lap. This is an especially good position to try if you’re nursing. Many young babies will eliminate while they are nursing, and their mothers find that by continuing to nurse them while leaving their bottoms bare, they can feed their babies at the same time that they are assisting them to go to the bathroom.
A two-week-old newborn held in the in-arms position over a toilet. Baby feels very secure in this position.
You can expect that it may not go smoothly right away. The key to EC is figuring out the right balance—remaining gently persistent while also recognizing when your baby is or isn’t ready for a new position. Don’t give up, even if it doesn’t seem to work at first. Most parents find that having a couple of different EC tricks in their toolbox allows them greater flexibility and a higher chance of successfully finding positions that work well for their babies.
I really like how one mom I know, Amylynne, introduced herself and her baby to EC. For the first week, she would leave little Meredith in her diaper but just put her in position and cue and soothe her whenever she saw her straining. By the end of the week, her baby would automatically go when Amylynne put her in position and cued her. The baby would actually look to her mother to assist her. It was clear they’d both gotten the hang of what they were doing, so Amylynne was able to proceed to the next step: cueing her over a toilet without the diaper.
At three months, Helen went through a phase in which she seemed to become uncomfortable using the potty. When she wouldn’t go in that, I held her over the toilet and she went right away.
—KEILA, MOM TO HELEN, 27 MONTHS, AND JANE, 8 MONTHS
IF YOU HAVE A MISS
EC’ers refer to pees and poops that they don’t catch as “misses.” Misses are a fact of life when practicing newborn EC. It’s important to realize this and not feel discouraged or think you are doing something wrong. It is part of the process of getting to know your child. Don’t discount the success of noticing a pee right after she’s gone. Even a miss can be thought of as a wonderful opportunity. You can reflect, look back, think about her behavior right before she peed, and store that information away: “I see that my baby squirms right before she needs to go to the bathroom,” or, “My baby stops nursing right before a poop,” and so on. Every time your baby pees or has a bowel movement and you are aware of it, a larger picture forms in your mind as to who your baby is and how she behaves. My friend Elizabeth points out that so many parents wish their newborns came with an instruction manual because they are so mysterious to them. Well, the more you learn about her elimination, eating, sleeping, and other preferences, the less mysterious your little baby will seem to you! Every bit of information will tell you more and more about who this little person is and how she likes to do things.
If you do find yourself feeling at all overwhelmed or frustrated, take a step back. Parents universally report that having a relaxed attitude to EC is paramount.
Parents Speak About Misses:
I like to think of misses as a “missed communication,” like missing a friend’s phone call. It seems like a friendlier way of looking at it than using the term “accident,” which is commonly referred to in conventional toilet training. An “accident” sounds catastrophic; a friend’s “missed call” can always be returned.
—ELIZABETH, MOM TO FELIX, 16, FRANKIE, 6, BEKAH, 5, LILLIAN, 2, AND JACK, 8 MONTHS
Because my baby was so much more comfortable when there were catches, I felt bad when there were misses, like I wasn’t paying attention. But I also remind myself that as with anything in parenting, I’m doing the best I can. I’ve been in situations where I couldn’t attend to