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—HELEN, MOM TO CORWIN, 19 MONTHS

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One Mother’s Late-Start EC Story

Aidan had been interested in using the toilet for a while, and I had absolutely no clue how to help him. When I asked friends, their responses ranged from “It’s too early” to “I used bribes.” This didn’t sit right with me. A music teacher who overheard him saying “toilet” said to me, “You are pushing him. He is way too young to use the toilet,” even though his request was completely unprompted by anyone. Finally we went to a pediatrician’s office, and when I mentioned Aidan was interested in the toilet, he dismissed me, saying, “Just ignore it. He’s too young. Most boys don’t use the toilet until they are at least two and a half.”

The next day I was in a toy store, juggling a huge basket in a crowded line, when Aidan looked up at me and said, “Toilet.” I replied, “Honey, can you please pee in your diaper?” But he looked at me again and said, “No. Toilet.” Just then a woman tapped me on the shoulder. I turned, and she asked, “How old is your son?” I thought, Oh no, if another person tells me I am pushing him, I am going to belt her. I said, “He’s eighteen months,” and turned abruptly around. She said, “That’s great. You are doing a nice job of listening to him. My son was using the toilet at that age too.” Her name was Melinda, and she was a cofounder of DiaperFreeBaby.

From that encounter I learned about EC and discovered support groups we could attend. Finally I had found a way to help Aidan. The whole approach resonated with us. It was a way for me to help him in his interest to use the toilet without “training” him.

We started out part-time. We used underwear in the morning, when we have pretty relaxed, slow time and I could hang out with him and wouldn’t be stressed about cleaning up any misses. Over time he stayed drier longer, until he was wearing underwear all day, both at home and out and about.

—MARIE, MOM TO AIDAN, 29 MONTHS

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EC’ING BY OTHERS

As a toddler, your child will have many opportunities for others to EC her. Because she probably has so many ways to convey the need to go to the bathroom, you’ll probably find that you encounter less resistance from partners, family members, caregivers, and teachers than you might have when she was an infant.

Because Betsy joined a toddler class for kids aged fifteen months to two years, nine months, the teachers realize that most of the children will start to learn toileting skills at some point while they’re in the class. Also, for the kids who have not yet learned to use the toilet, the teachers are responsible for changing their diapers. They were very happy to help Betsy use the potty from a younger age. In fact, one of her teachers (who has a son in the class who is two weeks younger than Betsy) recently told me that she wished she had started using the potty early with her son as well.

—EMILY, MOM TO BETSY, 2

EC’ING YOUR ONE-YEAR-OLD: HELPING HIM TAKE THE INITIATIVE

EC’ing a one-year-old is a very different experience from EC’ing a baby. Because your child now has so much independence, he can be much more involved in the whole process. I found that my children really loved the whole toilet ritual as toddlers. They loved wiping, putting paper in the toilet, flushing, and washing hands afterward. This was all engaging to them and, most important, made them feel that they were imitating what they had observed adults doing. It was a very important process to them.

To take advantage of that innate developmental drive to imitate, you will want to accelerate your open-bathroom-door policy. Talk to your child about everything you are doing when you go to the bathroom, every step of the way. Ask other adults in the house if they are willing to do this too. (My brother let my son Benjamin go into the bathroom with him once, and he was startled and amused to find my son cueing him to pee!) If you have older children around who are already using the toilet, definitely