The Diaper-Free Baby_ The Natural Toilet Training Alternative - Christine Gross-Loh [68]
Here’s another example of how simple changes can make a huge difference and why it’s so important to be flexible. My friend Lamelle had put away her Potty Bowls because her daughter, Neshama, hardly seemed to use them now that she was older, preferring her potty instead. Yet suddenly, after a bout of stomach flu when EC went off track, Neshama came upon one of her old Potty Bowls and really took to it. She started preferring the Potty Bowl again and even used it to signal (waving it around in the air). Lamelle figured out that Neshama preferred it for two reasons: using a Potty Bowl allowed her to be snuggled up against her mom (very comforting for a baby just recovering from illness), and she could signal much more dramatically with the Potty Bowl. Had they not stumbled upon the Potty Bowl again, it’s quite possible that Neshama would have gone through a prolonged period of misses.
Parents Speak About Toddler Potty Pauses:
Lillian went through a stage at around a year old where she would only use her red Baby Bjorn Little Potty. She also had a stage shortly after this during which she needed all her clothing removed in order to go to the bathroom. We accommodated her seemingly quirky needs even when out and about. I know now that these were both signs of the home stretch to graduation for her at about eighteen months. They were challenging stages, but short-lived, and looking back, these are two very fond and distinct memories that I will always have of her childhood.
—ELIZABETH, MOM OF FIVE, INCLUDING LILLIAN, 2, AND JACK, 8 MONTHS
Just before Margaret took charge of her toileting, she would refuse to go if I suggested it. Even if she really did have to pee, she wasn’t going to the potty if it wasn’t her idea! The key then seemed to be for me to just back off and give her the space to take herself to potty. After a week or so of puddles, she was mainly responsible for pee in the potty, and it mostly all went there.
—AMANDA, MOM TO MARGARET, 3
The closest we’ve been to a potty pause was during the winter, and I attribute it to a difficult adjustment to winter and having to wear pants all the time. Teething causes potty pauses, too. Wally just doesn’t signal that reliably at these times. He doesn’t resist being taken, but doesn’t signal as much, so I use timing.
—SARAH, MOM TO WALLY, 19 MONTHS
After two weeks of EC going really well, my daughter suddenly stopped going for any of my usual and quite varied techniques. I found myself feeling irritated. Why, after proving she could do it, would my daughter stop signaling and stop cooperating? What I realized was that I was not respecting her needs and was wishing to impose my will upon her. I also felt pressure to succeed in this endeavor. Once I came to this insight, I was able to relax, back off, become much more positive, respectful, and communicative, and trust the process. Within a few weeks we were gradually finding ourselves back on track.
—ELLEN, MOM TO CIELO, 6, AND ALEIA, 2
Don’t give up. Take a step or two back but don’t ditch EC completely. We had potty pauses with both my EC’ed children that started at around nine months and lasted until twelve months. Keep trying the first pee of day, after naps, or even trying different people, places, or receptacles. For instance, my son would only go with daddy for about a month. Also, keep talking about going potty with your child and start working on a sign for potty whenever you take him to the bathroom, he goes, or you have misses. At around twelve months, both of my children learned to make the sign, which made signaling so much easier and helped us out of our potty pause.
—LAURA, MOM TO JEANNINE, 5, BENJAMIN, 3, AND ROSE, 26 MONTHS
We had a potty pause from about eight months to fourteen months. It ended when Zane became interested in the ASL potty sign and appreciated how fun it was to dump pee out of the