The Eyre Affair_ A Novel - Jasper Fforde [105]
“What was all that motorway services thing about?” asked Bowden. “Last Thursday or next Thursday?”
I shrugged.
“Don’t ask me to explain. I just hope I got out of that jam. Those guys didn’t look as though they were out collecting for the church fund.”
“You’ll find out.”
“I guess. I wonder who that man was I was trying to protect?”
“Search me.”
I sat on the hood and donned a pair of dark glasses. Bowden walked to a gate and looked over. In a dip in the valley was a village built of gray stone, and in the field a herd of cows was grazing peacefully.
Bowden pointed to a milestone he had found.
“That’s a spot of luck.”
The milestone told him we were six miles from Haworth.
I wasn’t listening to him. I was now puzzling over seeing myself in the hospital bed. If I hadn’t seen myself I wouldn’t have gone to Swindon and if I hadn’t gone to Swindon I wouldn’t have been able to warn myself to go there. Doubtless it would make complete sense to my father, but I might well go nuts trying to figure it out.
“Car twenty-eight,” said the wireless, “come in please.”
I stopped thinking about it and checked the position of the sun.
“It’s about midday, I’d say.”
Bowden nodded agreement.
“Aren’t we car twenty-eight?” he asked, frowning slightly. I picked up the mike.
“Car twenty-eight, go ahead.”
“At last!” sounded a relieved voice over the speaker. “I have Colonel Rutter of the ChronoGuard who wants to speak to you.”
Bowden walked over so he could hear better. We looked at each other, unsure of what was going to happen next; a chastisement or a heap of congratulations, or, as it turned out, both.
“Officers Next and Cable. Can you hear me?” said a deep voice over the wireless.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good. Where are you?”
“About six miles from Haworth.”
“All the way up there, eh?” he guffawed. “Jolly good.” He cleared his throat. We could sense it coming.
“Unofficially, that was one of the bravest acts I’ve ever seen. You saved a great number of lives and stopped the event from becoming a matter of some consequence. You can both be very proud of your actions and I would be honored to have two fine officers like you serving under me.”
“Thank you, sir, I—”
“I’m still talking!” he snapped, causing us both to jump. “Officially, though, you broke every rule in the book. And I should have both your butts nailed to the wall for not following procedure. If you ever try anything like this again, I most certainly will. Understand?”
“Understood, sir.”
I looked at Bowden. There was only one question we wanted to ask.
“How long have we been gone?”
“The year is now 2016,” said Rutter. “You’ve been gone thirty-one years!!”
28.
Haworth House
Some would say the ChronoGuard have a terrific sense of humor. I would say they were just plain annoying. I had heard that they used to bundle up new recruits in gravity suits and pop them a week into the future just for fun. The game was banned when one recruit vanished outside the cone. Theoretically he is still there, just outside our time, unable to return and unable to communicate. It is calculated we will catch up with him about fourteen thousand years from now—sadly, he will have aged only twelve minutes. Some joke.
THURSDAY NEXT
—A Life in SpecOps
WE WERE both victims of the ChronoGuard’s bizarre sense of humor. It was just past noon the following day. We had been gone only seven hours. We both reset our watches and drove slowly into Haworth, each sobered by the experience.
At Haworth House a full media circus was in progress. I had hoped to arrive before this sort of thing really gained a toehold, but the hole in the M1 had put paid to that. Lydia Startright from the Toad News Network had arrived and was recording for the lunchtime bulletin. She stood outside the steps of Haworth House with a microphone and composed herself before beginning. She signaled to her cameraman to roll, adopted one of her most serious expressions, and began.
“. . . As the sun