The Family Fang - Kevin Wilson [46]
“What about the tabloids?” Buster asked. “Do you need to wear a disguise or something?”
“I’m not that kind of a movie star,” Annie said. “I don’t get recognized all that much. Or maybe no one cares. Plus, the tabloids think I’m in Wyoming with Daniel now. I can’t imagine he would notify them that I’d left him at the airport. I’m incognito.”
“Well, if you want an eye patch to go undercover, I can loan you one of mine,” Buster offered. “No one has come by with a coupon,” he added.
“These poor cashiers,” Annie said. “They’re not getting paid enough to deal with Caleb and Camille.”
Finally, a teenager walked up to the counter with a coupon. Buster watched the action through the viewfinder of the digital recorder their father had given him. “Here we go,” Buster said.
The boy made his order and then, when the cashier rang it up, he presented the coupon. The cashier immediately frowned, snatched the coupon out of the boy’s hands. The boy pointed to the word FREE on the coupon. The cashier called for her manager, a guy who seemed the same age as her, the same age as the customer. She showed him the coupon and he also frowned, held it up to the light as if looking for a watermark. He stared at the customer, sizing him up, and then handed the coupon back to the cashier and nodded. The cashier put the coupon in the register and then presented the boy with a chicken sandwich.
“Oh,” Annie said, seeing the thing fall apart in an entirely different way. “Shit.”
A few minutes later, an older couple each produced coupons and the cashier accepted them without any hesitation. Three coupons, three chicken sandwiches, three customers now sitting within ten feet of Buster and Annie, eating free food courtesy of their parents.
“Should we go tell Mom and Dad?” Buster asked.
“No,” Annie said. “Let’s just stay out of it.”
Watching the people eating their chicken sandwiches, Annie realized that she hadn’t eaten since the day before. She still had the coupon her father had given her, crumpled in her purse. She smoothed the coupon out on the table, took it to the Chicken Queen, and came back with a free sandwich. She slowly ate the sandwich while Buster filmed more and more people walking to the counter, each one getting the very thing they had been promised.
An hour and a half later, having finally handed out a decent number of coupons, Caleb and Camille met at the fountain in the center of the mall. “Good Lord,” Caleb said to his wife. “People have become so stupid that you can’t control them.” Camille nodded. “They are so resistant to any strangeness that they tune out the whole world. God, it’s so damn depressing.”
“Well,” Caleb said, shucking off his Chicken Queen T-shirt, “let’s go make some art.”
There was no angry line at the Chicken Queen when they arrived. There was no sign of hostility, of frustration. There were, however, about twenty-five people in the food court eating free chicken sandwiches. Camille noticed Buster and Annie at one of the tables and held out her arms in confusion. Annie and Buster merely shrugged. “What the hell is going on?” Caleb whispered. “I don’t know,” Camille said, visibly scared by the lack of pandemonium. “Give me one of those goddamn coupons,” Caleb said, snatching it out of his wife’s hand. “You can’t rely on anyone these days to make a proper piece of art,” he mumbled, striding with great purpose toward the Chicken Queen.
“Can I take your order?” the cashier said, typing a message on her cell phone with one hand, not even looking at Caleb.
“I want a free sandwich,” he said. “I want it right now.”
“Okay,” the girl said, walking back to the food prep station to grab a wrapped sandwich.
“Wait,” shouted Caleb. “Don’t I need a coupon?”
“Okay,” the girl said, holding out her hand.
Caleb handed the coupon to the girl. “I got this from some shady-looking characters at the front of the mall,” he said. “It doesn’t seem on the up-and-up.”
“No, it’s good,” the cashier said. “Here’s your sandwich.”
“I think this is a fake coupon,” Caleb said.
“It’s not, sir.”
“It is, though, for crying