The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth - Alexandra Robbins [185]
Lobby for changes in schools
School personnel are more likely to make the changes I suggest in the following section if committed groups of parents request them and offer to help. Volunteer to work with the school staff to bring these changes about by outlining logistics, sponsoring fund-raisers, or whatever else may be necessary to relieve busy teachers and administrators of some of the responsibility for implementing these ideas.
WHAT SCHOOLS CAN DO
The most important thing a school can do is not attempt to “normalize” outcasts—they are not the students in the wrong—but rather to focus on developing an atmosphere of acceptance and tolerance among all students. Students considered cafeteria fringe should be an essential part of the tapestry that defines every school. Toward that end:
Respect the significance of the cafeteria
Lunch period is one of the, if not the, most important social times of the day; the cafeteria is a place in which students both socialize with friends and conduct psychologically harmful behavior. During a group discussion at a western Missouri middle school, students told me that limited seating in their lunchroom forces cliques into a frenzied competition. Each table is attached to eight seats, rendering it impossible for a ninth student to pull up a chair or for a small group of three to converse privately. At schools with this configuration, students have to make a mad dash en masse to the cafeteria to snatch a place at the table for themselves and their friends. The Missouri students suggested that cafeterias could offer a variety of seating configurations so that groups of all sizes could fit in and feel comfortable. In some lunchroom arrangements, setting out a handful of loose chairs for students to pull up to tables might encourage more mingling as well as varied opportunities for the cafeteria fringe.
In the same vein, a New Mexico freshman told me about a system that she believes works well at her school. On several days, her two-thousand-student school assigns lunch seating to encourage “social development.” When I asked her how that went over with students, she said, “Some people want to sit with friends every day, and people don’t usually become super-close friends or anything through assigned seating, but at least it gets you familiar with some people you’d usually never meet otherwise and gives you some allies, in a weird way.”
Early on in school, teachers direct students to cafeteria seating arrangements. But just when students begin to turn cliquish, schools tell them that they are old enough to choose where to sit. This timing often coincides with the beginnings of outcast designations. Would it be so horrible if students were to mix up their cafeteria tables occasionally, or might they learn something interesting about a classmate? This option is worth implementing at least once a month. Annually, Teaching Tolerance, an organization that provides free educational materials to educators, leads a nationwide movement called “Mix It Up at Lunch Day,” which challenges students to sit with someone new. This concept emphasizes breaking down barriers and looking beyond stereotypes.
Encourage teachers to offer safe havens
What would Blue have done without Ms. Collins’ welcoming classroom? Teachers who open their rooms (or other areas) to students who don’t want to deal with the pressures of the cafeteria should be rewarded for going beyond the call of duty. This small kindness can be enormously comforting to a student.
These safe spaces aren’t limited to lunches. Several teachers told me how they watched students find confidence in afterschool