The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth - Alexandra Robbins [39]
Whitney: Dude I just got back from the hospital and got X-rays. There is no way I can go anywhere tonight.
Bianca: You’ll be fine. It’s your senior year. You don’t have to drink.
Whitney: You met the guys a couple times. It will be fine if you go.
Bianca: Oh, I’m totally not worried about you not going because you’re the only one that knows them . . . I know them too.
Whitney rolled her eyes. Bianca didn’t know them; she was trying to make Whitney feel less important. Whitney decided that she was too tired to go. “Exactly, you’ll be fine,” she said. “Go and have fun.”
The following week, Whitney found Bianca and Giselle in the middle of a conversation about the party. They mentioned Chelsea.
“Oh, Chelsea went?” Whitney asked casually.
“Yeah, we love Chelsea!” Bianca replied.
Since when?! Whitney thought. She said later, “You love drama within cliques as long as it doesn’t involve you, because, like, everyone runs to you. But it’s dangerous when people start getting close because you never know if you’ll be replaced and left out.” Just as Whitney feared, someone had taken her spot in the party car. Unnerved, she said nothing.
In the cafeteria, Whitney was sitting with the populars, as usual, when Chelsea said, “Oh my God, turn around, turn around.” The entire group turned to stare. “That really fat girl’s crack is hanging out! That’s so disgusting.”
One of the guys said, “Damn, I’d like to tap that.” Another said, “Big girls need lovin’ too!”
The girl pivoted, obviously having heard the populars talk about her. Like the rest, Whitney’s efforts to muffle her laughter were merely halfhearted.
______
UNDERSTANDING THE POPULAR BITCH
Many of the descriptions of populars that students nationwide reported to me sounded like this: Populars, said a Maryland public school senior, are “the girls who could model in their free time, have the best clothes, shiniest hair, coolest parties, and seem totally together. The guys who have that ‘sweet at life’ confidence, a lazy arrogance you can’t help but admire because they look the way they do. These people play sports, are very rich, have had their cliques formed since middle school, and you look at them and wonder, ‘What exactly did you do in a past life to deserve all this?’ ” Popular students seem to have it all, and what they don’t have, classmates often attribute to them anyway. Then why are so many popular kids so mean?
Meanness can be divided into two categories: overt aggression and alternative aggressions, which include social aggression (such as excluding) and relational aggression. Relational aggression, also known as relational bullying, covers ignoring, spreading rumors, shunning, eye rolling, glaring, snickering, and sneering. It is intended to harm by damaging or manipulating others’ self-esteem, social status, or friendships.
For at least half a century, experts considered students who engaged in aggressive behavior to be socially incompetent. This was because researchers measured a child’s rates of aggression alongside rankings of sociometric popularity, or how much other students liked him. Naturally, students didn’t much like those who verbally or physically beat the crap out of them. But when researchers began measuring aggression alongside perceived popularity, they found an undeniably strong link. Recent studies conclude that aggressive behaviors are now often associated with high social status. Psychologists no longer view aggression as a last-resort tactic of social misfits. Now they see aggression as a means toward social success. (This does not, however, mean it is admired. As author Daniel Goleman wrote in Social Intelligence, “being manipulative—valuing only what works for one person at the expense of the other—should not be