The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth - Alexandra Robbins [40]
Some researchers describe a “popularity cycle”: Initially, a girl rises through the ranks to popularity. She might stay popular for a while, but at some point, she could be perceived as too popular. Maybe she’s getting too many perks, drawing too much attention from too many boys, or distancing herself too far from old friends. At that point, students either in the popular clique or outside of it might turn on her out of resentment, causing her status to plunge.
A girl can also provoke such resentment by appearing to think she’s “all that.” At some schools, experts say, a quick path to losing popularity is to act as if you perceive yourself to be popular. In an anthropological study, Ball State University professor Don Merten observed, “Loss of popularity in this manner was especially disconcerting in that being labeled stuck-up used the ‘force’ (to use a judo metaphor) of a girl’s popularity against her to invert her status. Therefore it was precisely when a girl enjoyed popularity that she was most vulnerable to being labeled stuck-up. . . . Any action that suggested that a girl considered herself popular, however, could be taken as an indication that she thought she was superior and hence was stuck-up. Yet to be popular and be unable to express it, and thereby not enjoy it, was less than satisfying. Thus, these girls faced a cultural dilemma that is common for women: They were being implicitly asked to encompass both aspects of a cultural dichotomy—to seek popularity, but when they were successful, to pretend they were not popular.” This attempt to be popular without admitting it is similar to the way students battle for top grades without wanting to confess that they’re competing hard. Or how young women might be expected to appear virginal but, at the same time, put out.
How can girls demonstrate their popularity while still managing to keep it? Merten studied this exact problem. His answer: Be mean. Some girls, of course, can be both popular and nice. But niceness involves treating other students as equals, while the goal of perceived popularity is to climb recognizably to the top of the social hierarchy, an aim that contradicts the idea that others are equal. Many popular girls aren’t nice to lower-status students because they are concerned about undermining their own popularity. Treating other cliques as inferior creates a social distance that allows popular girls to feel exalted and invulnerable. Meanwhile the cruelty, ignoring, gossip, and exclusion are expressions of power and dominance.
Merten argued that students would rather be viewed as mean than stuck-up because stuck-up girls could lose their popularity, while mean girls generally didn’t. I asked Merten why a girl with a reputation for being mean could avoid the reputation of being stuck-up. He explained that as a cultural anthropologist, he peered through a lens that focused more on cultural basis than on psychology. “Whereas being stuck-up seems to have nothing positive about it, being mean does. In athletics, having a ‘bit of a mean streak’ is often taken as a compliment,” Merten said. “In the context of middle school, being mean also involves mobilizing peers to support one’s efforts, [which is] also an enactment of one’s popularity. Moreover, it has the effect of intimidating girls who may be inclined to try to undercut one’s popularity. Finally, the girls I write about are not mean to everyone. Often they can be nice to people who don’t threaten them.”
Whitney’s experience, however, shows that perceived popular girls can be both mean and stuck-up without losing their status. The preps practically flaunted their snobbishness. So what changed in the decade since Merten conducted his study? Or, if Merten’s insightful anthropological observations still hold true, what could be an alternative explanation for the change?
It became cool to be a bitch.
Whitney chose the identifier “The Popular Bitch” herself. Late in the year, I asked her if she had been proud to be a bitch. She said, “Yeah, I was proud. I would feel