The Ginger Man - J. P. Donleavy [73]
Back to the pot boiling on the stove. Tea and aspirin. Auburn is tea. And tea is about all there is. This is a day when they put the clods on the pine box. Jesus, where are the warm moist winds from the Atlantic and the tropical plants in profusion. I'll die of cold. Do something. Shave. Is it true that women are frigid because men don't have beards? Marion, you've taken your hairy tits away. For butchered Christ, I'm finished. No blades. Shave with the edge of the tub. Miss Frost, I must borrow your towel, criminal, but these are desperate times. I'm going to sprinkle nitric acid on Mr. Skully's Axminster rug.
On the mantelpiece is one of my treasured possessions, my stoical statue which has a cross on the belly. I must now lie without movement, eyeballs frozen in my head. Absolute zero. So Marion has left me holding the bag in which there are two leases. There's a game called cricket And this is a wet wicket
Sebastian went to sleep in the supine chair. At five forty five, Miss Frost came in. In my dream I had just given orders to lower lifeboats, to start singing and a few other things and I went to the bow to lower myself into an unsinkable rubber raft. This was April 14th, 1912. And the sea was icy. The light on. Miss Frost standing in the doorway. Looking. Embarrassed.
"O, Mr. Dangerfield."
"Excuse me, Miss Frost, I'm afraid I fell asleep"
"O."
Dangerfield sweeps the rug around, covering his exposed parts.
"I'm sorry for all this mess, Miss Frost"
"That's all right, Mr. Dangerfield."
"I hate to ask for such a thing, Miss Frost, but I wonder, could you ever let me have a cigarette ? "
"Certainly, Mr. Dangerfield, I'd be glad to, here,"
"I really am very grateful—very grateful indeed."
"I don't know how to say this, Mr. Dangerfield, but Mrs. Dangerfield told me to tell you that she's not coming back.
"Can you tell me where she has gone?"
"She was very upset and she left without saying exactly, although I understood that she was taking the Liverpool boat and she had a ticket on the train to Edinburgh"
"Rash"
"She was disturbed"
"Couldn't have gotten my gram"
"I don't think she got a telegram"
"No. More's the pity. Avoid this misunderstanding. Rash."
"I'll clean up a little here, Mr. Dangerfield."
"O don't bother, Miss Frost. Leave it to me. I'll take care of it. Desk was a little stuck."
"O no, Mr. Dangerfield, you look so tired. I'll do it. It will only take a minute. I bought some bread and sausages. 1 think there are a few tomatoes in the cupboard. Would you like to share them with me, Mr. Dangerfield? You must be very hungry."
"I couldn't, Miss Frost, it's not fair"
"Please do, Mr. Dangerfield"
"Well, it's extremely kind of you, Miss Frost"
"O it's nothing at all, really."
"God damn, arse hole, bitch."
"Is something the matter, Mr. Dangerfield?"
"O no, Miss Frost—my leg a little itchy. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll change for dinner."
"Certainly, Mr. Dangerfield."
Swathed in blanket, Sebastian crept from the room. I'm an Iroquois for sure.
He put on his corduroy trousers, kept hidden and damp in a drawer. And difficulty buttoning the fly. Don't want any pink penis showing or Miss Frost will think I'm being suggestive for sure. And I could never bear another night- mare due to exposure of part or parts. Must be careful of my approach to Miss Frost Rather nice. Fine. And there weren't many of them these days. All after foul wampum. O where is the dignity? Old families and estates? Carriages and footmen? The vulgarity that has come to pass. Put them back down. Back down. And Marion with them. Sneak off, go ahead. Get out, stay out. Wouldn't give me a chance. Some day you'll show up when I'm