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Beth, on the other hand, is using a more balanced, moderate approach. She too goes to the barbeque and knows she can eat what she really wants, but she isn't having terrible cravings from deprivation. Beth decides to balance her meal by eating the chicken, mixed greens salad, and potato salad (even though it's high-glycemic, that potato salad just looks too good to pass up). The next day, Beth has no guilt because she ate in moderation and continues to follow a balanced diet.

You can see how Laurie's approach feels temporary, which leads her to feel guilty about her choices and revert to her old eating habits. In contrast, Beth's approach feels like she's making natural choices based on both her new guidelines and what she really wants to eat. No cause for guilt there.

A balanced approach is the difference between making true lifestyle changes and following a diet. Yes, the diet will get you results — possibly even faster than if you were to work toward real lifestyle change — but those results will be achieved at the risk of never really finding long-term weight loss. After healthy behaviors are a part of your day-to-day life, they're much easier to follow — and you get the motivating benefit of long-term results.

Focusing on what you can eat, not what you can't

Research has shown that when a person is told not to eatomething she tends to fixate on it, have more cravings, and wind up binging on that food item. Focusing on what you can eat rather than what you can't eat is an important strategy in successfully making lifestyle changes. It's part of the mental game you need to play to stay on track.

When you hear the word diet, what comes to mind for you? Maybe you think of following a strict plan or of all the foods you aren't able to eat. So many weight-loss and health goals center on what you can't have. Limit fat, avoid trans fat, steer clear of high-glycemic foods . . . the list goes on.

If you have a lot of dieting in your past, your mind probably automatically focuses on what you can't eat rather than what you can. This mindset sets you up for a feeling of deprivation before you've even started. Deprivation can set off a pattern of being out of control with the foods you're supposed to limit. You may say to yourself, "Well, I was already bad today so I may as well eat all high-glycemic, high-calorie foods and get back on track next week." This all-or-nothing attitude is all too common, but you can defeat it by turning your thought process around. Why not try telling yourself that no foods are off-limits? How freeing is that? When you shift your thoughts from strict dieting to balancing your choices, you realize that you can have high-glycemic foods. The difference is how often you eat them.

Another great mental shift is to look at all the low-glycemic foods that you love and focus on them. Thinking to yourself "I can eat all the whole-wheat bread, cantaloupe, watermelon, and nuts I want" is more productive than thinking "Well, if I can't eat white rice, white pasta, or sugary cereal, what in the world am I going to eat?!" Focusing on foods that you not only enjoy but can also have regularly helps you forget about any feelings of deprivation.

Strategies for Stepping into Change

Making lifestyle changes (or any changes really) isn't something that happens overnight. It's a bit-by-bit process that requires you to practice and repeat new behaviors until they become part of your normal routine, just like brushing your teeth. Like anything in life, sometimes you'll face challenges and experience setbacks. That's okay. How you handle those situations is what determines your future success in maintaining your new way of life.

In the following sections, I share some strategies that make the change process a little smoother. With this information in mind, you'll be better prepared to deal with challenges when they sneak up on you.

When approaching any part of your life in which you want to change your habits, always give yourself the space and support necessary