The Golden Bowl - Henry James [198]
‘Do you consider that we’re languid?’ – that form of rejoinder she had jumped at for the sake of its pretty lightness. ‘Do you consider that we’re careless of mankind? – living as we do in the biggest crowd in the world and running about always pursued and pursuing.’
It had made him think indeed a little longer than she had meant; but he came up again, as she might have said, smiling. ‘Well, I don’t know. We get nothing but the fun, do we?’
‘No,’ she had hastened to declare; ‘we certainly get nothing but the fun.’
‘We do it all,’ he had remarked, ‘so beautifully.’
‘We do it all so beautifully.’ She hadn’t denied this for a moment. ‘I see what you mean.’
‘Well, I mean too,’ he had gone on, ‘that we haven’t no doubt enough the sense of difficulty.’
‘Enough? Enough for what?’
‘Enough not to be selfish.’
‘I don’t think you are selfish,’ she had returned – and had managed not to wail it.
‘I don’t say it’s me particularly – or that it’s you or Charlotte or Amerigo. But we’re selfish together – we move as a selfish mass. You see we want always the same thing,’ he had gone on – ‘and that holds us, that binds us, together. We want each other,’ he had further explained; ‘only wanting it, each time, for each other. That’s what I call the happy spell; but it’s also a little – possibly – the immorality.’
‘ “The immorality”?’ she had pleasantly echoed.
‘Well, we’re tremendously moral for ourselves – that is for each other; and I won’t pretend that I know exactly at whose particular personal expense you and I for instance are happy. What it comes to, I dare say, is that there’s something haunting – as if it were a bit uncanny – in such a consciousness of our general comfort and privilege. Unless indeed,’ he had rambled on, ‘it’s only I to whom, fantastically, it says so much. That’s all I mean at any rate – that it’s “sort of” soothing; as if we were sitting about on divans, with pigtails, smoking opium and seeing visions. “Let us then be up and doing” – what is it Longfellow1 says? That seems sometimes to ring out; like the police breaking in – into our opium-den – to give us a shake. But the beauty of it is at the same time that we are doing; we’re doing, that is, after all, what we went in for. We’re working it, our life, our chance, whatever you may call it, as we saw it, as we felt it, from the first. We have worked it, and what more can you do than that? It’s a good deal for me,’ he had wound up, ‘to have made Charlotte so happy – to have so perfectly contented her. You, from a good way back, were a matter of course – I mean your being all right; so I needn’t mind your knowing