The Good Book_ A Secular Bible - A. C. Grayling [58]
13. Through all the rest of her life Octavia set no bounds to her tears and sighs, and closed her ears to all words that offered wholesome advice;
14. With her whole mind fixed and centred upon one single thing, she did not allow herself even to relax.
15. Such she remained during her whole life as she was at the funeral; I do not say lacking the courage to rise,
16. But refusing to be uplifted, counting any loss of tears a second bereavement.
17. Not a single portrait would she have of her darling son, not one mention of his name in her hearing.
18. She hated all mothers, and was inflamed most of all against Livia,
19. Because it seemed that the happiness which had once been held out to herself had passed to the other woman’s son.
20. Companioned ever by darkness and solitude, giving no thought even to her brother,
21. She spurned the poems that were written to glorify the memory of Marcellus and all other literary honours, and closed her ears to every form of consolation.
22. Withdrawing from all her accustomed duties and hating even the good fortune that her brother’s greatness shed around her, she buried herself in seclusion.
23. Surrounded by children and grandchildren, she would not lay aside her garb of mourning, and, putting a slight on all her nearest, accounted herself utterly bereft though they still lived.
Chapter 8
1. And now reflect on Livia. She lost her son Drusus, who would have made a great emperor, and had already shown himself a great leader.
2. For he had penetrated far into Germany, and had planted the Roman standards in a region where it was scarcely known that any Romans existed.
3. He had died on the campaign, and his very foes had reverently honoured his sickbed by maintaining peace along with us.
4. His death received the unbounded sorrow of his fellow-citizens, of the provinces, and of all Italy,
5. Through the length of which crowds poured forth from the towns and colonies, and, escorting the funeral train all the way to the city, made it seem more like a triumph.
6. His mother had not been permitted to receive her son’s last kisses and drink in the fond words of his dying lips.
7. On the long journey through which she accompanied the remains of her dear Drusus, her heart was harrowed by the countless pyres that flamed throughout all Italy,
8. For on each she seemed to be losing her son afresh; yet as soon as she had placed him in the tomb, along with her son she laid away her sorrow,
9. And grieved no more than was respectful to the rest of her family, seeing, that they were alive.
10. And lastly, she never ceased from proclaiming the name of her dear Drusus.
11. She had him pictured everywhere, in private and in public places, and it was her greatest pleasure to talk about him and to listen to the talk of others; she lived with his memory.
12. But no one can cherish and cling to a memory that has become an affliction to himself. Livia conquered grief by keeping Drusus alive in her heart.
13. Choose, therefore, which of these two examples to follow.
14. If you prefer Octavia’s example, you will remove yourself from the number of the living;
15. You will turn away your eyes both from other people’s children and from your own, even from him whom you mourn;
16. Mothers will regard you as an unhappy example; honourable and permissible pleasures you will renounce as ill-becoming to your plight;
17. Hating the light of day, you will linger in it, and your deepest offence will be your age, because the years do not hurry you on and make an end of you as soon as possible;
18. You will show that you are unwilling to live and unable to die.
19. If, on the other hand, you follow the example of Livia, showing thus a more restrained and more gentle spirit, you will not dwell in sorrow, nor rack yourself with anguish.
20. For what madness it is – how monstrous! – to punish oneself for misfortune and add new ills to present ills!
21. That correctness of character and self-restraint which you have maintained all your life, you should