The Haunted - Jessica Verday [114]
“I am thinking about everything,” I said. “But just one thing at a time. There’s so much to take in. I have to compartmentalize it all, or it’ll take over.” His eyes met mine. “I’m afraid, Caspian. Afraid of tomorrow—today, technically—and what it will bring. I don’t want seeing your grave to drive me back to Dr. Pendleton.”
“Then go home,” he urged. “Leave this place.”
“Go back to Sleepy Hollow? Where there are Revenants who are waiting for me to die? Or where the crazy boy who might have killed my best friend waits?”
“When you put it that way, it sounds—”
“It sounds crazy. I know. I might be safer here. But the most important thing to face right now is you.”
“What will it prove? You already know I’m dead.”
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I guess it’s because sometimes I forget.” I reached out a hand to put on his arm and felt the soft covers instead. “Because other than that, sometimes I forget you’re not really here and normal.” I looked away. “Trust me, I’d like to forget about this, but I think it’s important. It feels crucial. Do you know what I mean?”
“I just don’t want it to hurt, Astrid,” he said.
His words made my heart ache, and I gave him a sad smile. “Hurt is a part of life.” I gestured between us helplessly. “This hurts. It kills me that I can’t touch you, Caspian. Can’t kiss you. Can’t listen to your heart beating.” I closed my eyes, feeling the tears threatening. “Can you turn off the light?” I asked in a wobbly voice. “If I burst into tears here, I really don’t want you to see it.”
A second later the room turned dark with a soft click.
“Don’t cry, Astrid,” he whispered into my ear. “Please don’t cry. Your big eyes and pouty lips… they undo me. I can’t take it. I’ll do anything to make it better.” I scrambled backward and found one edge of the covers. “Sleep with… me?” I said hesitantly. “Just… be near me.”
Silence was his only answer, and I felt foolish. He didn’t sleep. So why would he want to just lie there next to me?
“Climb under the covers,” he said.
His voice sounded closer, like he’d followed me up the bed. A wicked heat spread through me and made my skin ache. I pulled back the covers and slid between the sheets. The legs of my pajama bottoms rode up my shins, and I wiggled around to straighten them out.
“Are you settled?” Caspian asked.
“Mmm-hmm.” I counted to a hundred, then said, “Are you, um, settled?”
“I’m here.” He sounded too far away.
“Come closer. I like it when you whisper in my ear.”
“I aim to please.”
The shiver came back. He was much closer now, and I gave a happy sigh.
“Put your hand on your chest, over your heart,” Caspian said. I almost turned to ask him why. “No questions,” he said, anticipating my move. “Just do it.”
“Over or under my top?”
“Under,” he breathed. “Skin to skin.”
My body heated up again. Placing one hand over my heart, I felt it beating hard. Like a trapped butterfly frantically fluttering its wings.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered.
I followed his instructions. Then I felt it. Just the slightest dip in the bed. If I hadn’t been concentrating, I might have missed it. My left arm and leg tingled for a second, and then my right arm and leg tingled at the same time.
“Do you feel your heartbeat?” His words fluttered down across my face, and I knew that if I opened my eyes, I’d see him on top of me.
It should have freaked me out. Lying in bed with a boy who was practically pinning me down. And yet… he wasn’t. He couldn’t. It felt right with him. Safe.
And dangerous. And thrilling. And exhilarating.
I had to moisten my lips before I could answer him. “I feel it.”
“If I could touch anything in the world right now, it would be your heart. I want to take that piece of you and keep it with me when I’m alone in the