The Haunted - Jessica Verday [115]
“I want to feel your heartbeat too,” I whispered.
“Pretend,” he said. “Can you do that? Pretend I’m alive and there’s nothing between us.
Nothing at all. I’m real and warm and alive.”
My eyes flew open, and I could just barely make out the contours of his face. Holding my hand steady over my heart, I wished I could see his eyes. “Nothing is between us, Caspian,” I whispered. “I’m your other half. So half of this? Half of this erratic thumping? Is yours. I’ll carry your heartbeat in mine.”
The covers bunched around me. He was clenching his hands. “How can you do it, Abbey?
How can you love me? I have nothing to offer. Nothing to give you. I don’t even know how long I’ll stay like this. You’d be better off—”
“Stop,” I commanded him softly. “Stop this.”
“But Ben—”
“Would be better for me? Has more to offer me?”
He stayed silent.
“Don’t you think I know that, Caspian? Don’t you think I’ve thought about that?” His voice was quiet, but he said, “You have?”
“Yes. I have. On the night of my birthday party. When I first came back. All those times I was trying so hard to get you out of my head. I’ve thought about it a million times.” He pulled back, and the space between us widened. I sat up slightly, leveraging myself on my elbows to lessen the space. “I don’t say this to hurt you, love.” The endearment slipped out without me even thinking about it. “I’m telling you this so that you’ll know I made a choice.
I chose you. Before I knew you were dead… and after.”
“Say it again,” he said. “Call me your love.”
I wanted to touch his face so much, to make him see how much he meant to me, that my fingers ached with the wanting. “Love, love, love. I chose you freely, love. Before I knew about the Revenants and being your destined other half. I thought about all the ways I could be with Ben—”
“Oh God, Abbey,” he whispered. “You’re breaking my heart here.”
“No,” I said. “Don’t let it. I’m sorry—I’m messing this up.” I rolled away from him, pulling my knees up to my chest. Hot tears threatened to spill, and I jammed my hands into my eyes to stop them.
“I’m so jealous of him,” Caspian admitted. “Every smile he earns from you. Every laugh.
I’m jealous of a geek who watches Star Trek and eats Funyuns, for God’s sake.” He laughed bitterly. “I see the look on his face, and I know… I know how he feels. Even if he doesn’t. Because I feel it too.”
I swiped my hand over my face and swallowed.
“I’m sorry, Astrid,” he said. “I know what you were trying to say.”
“Ben’s a great guy, Caspian. He is. But he’s not you. You’re… chocolate to his vanilla. It works for some people, but not me.”
“With sprinkles?” he asked. “Sprinkles are good.”
“Maybe nuts instead of sprinkles.” I smiled into the darkness. “Anyone who can hang out in a mausoleum all day has to be a little nutty.”
“I guess I’m the perfect match, then, for a girl who likes to visit a cemetery.” He drew out every syllable so that it sounded like a love song.
I closed my eyes, savoring those words. “A perfect match,” I murmured. “My other half.” The Haunted
Chapter Twenty-four
FACE TO FACE
She was withal a little of a coquette, as might be perceived even in her dress, which was a mixture of ancient and modern fashions, as most suited to set off her charms.
—“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”
A muffled thump and the call of “Housekeeping!” woke me up later that morning, and I put the pillow over my head to try and block out the sound. A short burst of knocks echoed on the door, and I groaned out loud.
“No thank you,” I called, raising my voice so it could be heard through the door.
They knocked again.
“I don’t need any room service! Go away!” It was rude, but effective, and they moved on to the next room.
I felt the sheet slip as I rolled to my side, but I only made a halfhearted attempt to grab at it. It pooled around me, and I felt the cool air on my exposed midriff. I snuggled deeper into my pillow…
And then my eyes popped open.
Caspian was lying next to me.
I yanked my pajama top back down. It’s no worse than