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Unschooling my special needs son has been one of the best things I’ve done in my life. It’s been good for me and the rest of the family as well as for him, and has led to amazing growth for all of us.—Carol, Florida

Undoubtedly, having an advocate who knows the system can be invaluable in helping to obtain the services you need. Dealing with the day-to-day challenges of serious problems can be exhausting enough without having to fight your bureaucratic battles alone as well.

Here are some suggestions for making special needs homeschooling work:

Make sure your child is part of the process and understands as much as possible of what is going on. Your child can give you valuable information about how he learns and what methods and activities are most helpful, and he has the most to lose from inappropriate choices.

Find yourself an advocate within the special education system to help you make sense of it. A private homeschooling service or school may have individuals who can help. Where no advocate can be found, you should be prepared to devote considerable energy to becoming your own expert.

Learn as much as you can about the particular problems you’re dealing with. It’s especially important with problems such as attention deficit disorder (ADD), for which the causes and proper treatments are hotly debated, to get information about all the available treatments rather than automatically accepting the first recommendations you are offered. Contact any relevant support groups to find out what information and assistance they can provide.

Learn as much as you can about the laws and regulations that apply to special education. Don’t miss out on services you’re entitled to, and don’t feel obligated to accept those you don’t want because you don’t know your rights. Contact support groups who can offer you the benefit of their own experience and provide information about your options.

Make sure you’re dealing with everybody’s needs in the course of dealing with a child’s disabilities. Siblings who feel neglected or shut out may need more attention paid to their own problems, or they may simply need to feel their own contributions are appreciated. If the bulk of the caretaking falls to one adult, that person may need an occasional break from the routine. Occasionally, the entire family may need that break from the routine. If this means you need help from your extended family or friends, ask for what you need—folks won’t always volunteer their help unless they realize there is a need.

Single-Parent Homeschooling

Take the average homeschooling family and consider everything the family members do to make their homeschooling life work: They figure out how to live on one income, they decide on learning materials, and they help their kids use them. They learn to budget their time and their money to cover the things they most want, and they usually manage to make it all work. Now think about that family again, but take one of the parents out of the picture. It may sound like an impossible challenge, but single-parent homeschooling can be done, and done quite well.

Single-parent homeschooling takes determination, organization, and, above all, help. Much depends on the kind of arrangements the parent can make for work and for child care. A lucky few may find a workplace that welcomes children; most single parents of younger children work out flexible schedules and child-care arrangements with other homeschooling families. As the children get older and more independent, child care becomes less of a problem.

My children are now thirteen, eleven, and seven. Having spent their formative years at home has enabled them to care for themselves. Baby-sitting, household chores, car jumping, plumbing, cooking, laundry, and myriad other jobs are routine to them. If I have to speak or teach locally, I don’t have to pay for child care. For out-of-town conventions, I either drive so the children can be with me, or I call upon a close friend or relative for assistance.