The Homeschooling Handbook_ From Preschool to High School - Mary Griffith [89]
We all have bad days, of course. We worry if we’re doing our best for our children; we become immune to dust and cobwebs; we start to think our kids will never stop bickering; we can’t figure out how to fit everything we have to do into our days; we just plain run out of energy. We all have our bad days.
Homeschooling veterans, though, do have the advantage of experience. We’re past that stage when the novelty of homeschooling lets us believe that any problems are simply because we’re new at it. We know and expect we’ll hit those stretches when nothing seems to go right. We expect we’ll get through them, and we begin to recognize them as normal. The symptoms become familiar, and we develop strategies for dealing with them.
Parental Panic Attacks
Parental panic attacks are a staple of the homeschooling life, especially if you lean toward the unschooling approach. They occur when you’ve been talking to other homeschoolers or reading about them in a magazine or newspaper, and you realize that your children just don’t measure up. They won’t graduate from medical school by the age of twelve, they don’t speak five languages fluently, they show no signs of starting their own businesses that will make them independently wealthy by sixteen, and they’ve not yet published Nobel-quality work on recombinant DNA. In fact, you’re not even sure they could make their beds regularly if you didn’t remind them. And it’s all your fault. It’s because you chose the wrong math book, or didn’t read aloud to them enough, or maybe just don’t have the right stuff to make a success of homeschooling.
I go through the idea that I should be giving Sara more information—making her “study” some of those important things like the Punic Wars. Lots of times she already knows what I try to tell her. I do wish she wanted to study more on her own, but I’m not going to force it down her throat.—Lisa, Alabama
As a product of the public schools, I find I still get anxious at the beginning of the school year. We should get busy and do something. I think of all the public school kids sitting for hours with paper and pen. It always passes if I wait long enough. Then I can see what Emily is truly learning and I calm down.—Doug, California
It’s only happened a few times in eleven years, but like every-one else I’ve had a few moments of insecurity about my children’s progress. It’s only happened when I’ve thought about comparing them to what might be expected for “grade level.”—Linda, Hawaii
I’ve worried extensively about TJ’s reading. It didn’t seem natural that he’d be such a late reader. God’s funny that way. I never thought of sending him to school, but I did worry a lot! I’ve worried about Bekah’s and my relationship. It’s tough. I’ve wondered if she might be better off in school. Then I watch her wiggle at the computer or do something else because of her highly kinesthetic personality, and I remind myself that surely she’s better off at home.—Shari, Alabama
The effects of extreme parental panic attacks are pretty predictable. You resolve to reform your whole approach to homeschooling. If you unschool, you’ll start daily drills in arithmetic and grammar and spelling. If you use a packaged curriculum, you’ll dump it for another better curriculum package or maybe jump whole-hog into unschooling. Usually, whatever changes you make will last no longer than a week, and your kids may let you know within hours or even minutes that you’ve totally lost your mind.
Once you’ve survived a few of these attacks, you realize that you’re not usually worried about anything substantive about your homeschooling. They’re just the sort of general worry that hits most parents every so often, except that the worry is customized to your homeschooling situation.
Some suggestions for coping with parental panic attacks:
Take a deep breath, and count to 10 (or 20 or 50 or 100 or 10,000). Don’t make any drastic changes in your lives for a few days—wait to see if the worry just evaporates.
Reread a favorite homeschooling book or article. Sometimes