The Homeschooling Handbook_ From Preschool to High School - Mary Griffith [90]
Talk to some homeschooling friends in your local support group or online. You’ll undoubtedly find people who’ve been through similar situations before. They can help you put things in perspective and decide whether your worries are justified.
Skepticism from Family and Friends
It might be an offhand “And why aren’t you in school today?” directed at your kids by a store clerk or a baleful glare from a neighbor when your kids play outside on a weekday morning. Or maybe it’s your family: Your mother wants to know exactly how long you plan to keep at this homeschooling foolishness with her precious grandchildren, or your sister keeps giving you brochures about local magnet school programs. Or they talk to your kids: “How do you spell prodigious?” “Don’t you get lonely not having any friends?”
For several years, I hardly spoke with my father’s parents because I knew they would go through the usual spiel, and I was tired of it. We have a sort of truce now because other family difficulties have taken the focus off us, but even so….—Tammy, Texas
Back in the beginning of our homeschooling, I was attacked by four different people in one week. It caught me completely off guard; none of these people had even asked any questions about homeschooling, so I naively assumed that they all understood. The very next week I began making phone calls to put together a countywide support group.—Barbara, California
I used to [hear this sort of thing], but I’ve gotten very comfortable handling it. The hardest is when they ask about school at home, but I liken what we do to what most people do with their preschoolers: Answer questions, provide materials, and the kids learn.—Grace, California
I rarely encounter hostility, and when I do, I calmly listen, state my views, and cite personal experiences to back them up. On our recent trip east, a friend’s daughter asked Shauna, “Aren’t you bored being at home all day? Shauna replied, “No, I love choosing what I do, and besides, I’m out at dance, book group, singing, and lots of other things. Do you ever get bored in school?” Eva answered, “Oh, yes! So often we have to listen to the teacher drone on about something I already know, and….” At this point, Eva’s mother shot her a look that said “Stop!” Eva’s mother is a schoolteacher. Later, as we drove north to Massachusetts, we thought of Eva, languishing in sixth grade. Shauna said, “I know Eva tries to like school because she has no choice but to go, and she wants to please her mom. But I think she’d love homeschooling … and she probably can’t even tell her mom.” This was followed by a lengthy discussion about communication and how and why people say what they do. It pointed out the primary benefit of the homeschooling lifestyle: One’s family is truly top priority, and we are able to be there for each other as we wrestle with problems or sort out situations. Closeness requires quantity as well as quality time. Home education facilitates this.—Carol, California
No hostility, but concern, from some friends and family. Luckily everyone trusts us and believes that we will be OK, but some of them still worry about things.—Pam, California
The older my children get, the better I handle criticism. Sometimes I find the attacks on homeschooling ludicrous. “Your children are so close to you—you’ll have to let go of them sometime.” “Don’t turn your children into neurotics by stressing academics too heavily.” “Your children are not able to handle the real world.” (I usually hear this one from folks who haven’t even met my children.) And, of course, the infamous “Your children don’t socialize!”
Fortunately, I am too busy to respond to criticism. Our relatives are happy with the way our children are turning out, so we no longer receive criticism from them.
It’s very difficult for a school authority to challenge black parents about homeschooling. All I have to do is roll out their statistics on how black children are