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By Root 638 0

it definitely does make the days go by faster.) I use to enjoy it and it’s not that bad but I don’t know how much longer I can take it! Each day seems exactly like the day before. Each day seems the same. It’s weird. It’s like watching yourself in the same film but with a different sound track each time you watched it. If you saw me here in L.A. at Voila’s or After Hours, you’d probably tell me what you told Kenneth when he asked you (I told him to ask you! Surprise!) what you thought of me and you said “That is a very sad, affected girl.” (Oh, don’t be embarrassed—I don’t hold it against you. I forgive you, so don’t worry.) Well, that’s only part of my life in L.A.

My time at the studio is much more interesting and exciting. I’ve met so many famous actors and actresses the past month or so. My grandfather seems to know them all. I must have been to about a million screenings. And I’ve looked at twice as many scripts. Also, I’m picking up a fair amount of “studio lingo” and a lot of the business aspect. It’s all very exciting.

I know I should write about this place but I can’t come out with a coherent story. I don’t have a firm enough grasp or base to write from. There’s really not a whole lot to assimilate or see. It’s just that I don’t have enough time, with all the parties and screenings and my job at the studio and all.… By the way, how is your painting going? Are you still painting? I know you’re busy and you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to but I would love it if you would send me a poem or a sketch or anything you’ve produced lately but even more than that I hope you are as happy and as healthy and as fulfilled as I am. And if your life is not too turbulent I would be very happy to get a letter from you. Just one.

Love,

Anne

Oct 22 1983

Dear Sean,

I’m sitting in the penthouse apartment of some friends in Century City. It’s kind of late in the afternoon and I’m very relaxed. Someone gave me a Dalmane (I think I’ve spelled it right) because I had a headache and they told me it would help it. I feel very comfortable and relaxed right now. This is the first time I can remember since I was a kid that I am glad and content to be where I am. I don’t know if you have ever felt like this, but I’ve always felt very uncomfortable and impatient with wherever I happen to be after a certain point. I get bored and irritated and everything I think is in the future tense (maybe like the way you got up suddenly that night when we were all sitting in the Café and you looked at me and abruptly left). I’ve always felt jumpy, like I couldn’t stay in one place for any length of time. But something’s changing. Totally rad (short for “radical”), as we say around here.

This is not going to be much of a letter because we’re about to go out to dinner soon because someone made reservations at Spago and we’re leaving in an hour to an hour and a half, someone says. What I want to tell you mostly is that I’m thinking about you and I hope you are all right. Are you? Will you write me? I want to hear from you. Please?

Love,

Anne

• • •

Oct 29 1983

Dear Sean,

There’s something luxorious and wonderful about living in L.A. I feel like this is how I want to live forever. Every day there is some new adventure, some new person to talk to, different things to look at every night. This is the first time I’ve felt like I’ve found myself or something. Even during the worst moments I feel relaxed. Sometimes I get lonely but those moments are far and few between the other ones.

My relationships here with people aren’t tense or trying because no one requires a whole lot of serious emotional investment at all. They’re very safe—but don’t get the idea that they’re superficial. They’re not. I mean, sure I feel kind of anxious and depressed because of them sometimes, but otherwise the sun is always out and the pool is always clean and heated so it’s never cold and I’m happy with people out here.

Part of this has to do with the people I spend time with. They are all alive and interesting and fun. A lot of them are in the record industry or