The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy [55]
supply their force, and, by the terrors of gaols and halters, oblige us to it.'
(I see plainly, said my father, that this sermon has been composed to be preached at the Temple,--or at some Assize.--I like the reasoning,--and am sorry that Dr. Slop has fallen asleep before the time of his conviction:-- for it is now clear, that the Parson, as I thought at first, never insulted St. Paul in the least;--nor has there been, brother, the least difference between them.--A great matter, if they had differed, replied my uncle Toby,--the best friends in the world may differ sometimes.--True,--brother Toby quoth my father, shaking hands with him,--we'll fill our pipes, brother, and then Trim shall go on.
Well,--what dost thou think of it? said my father, speaking to Corporal Trim, as he reached his tobacco-box.
I think, answered the Corporal, that the seven watch-men upon the tower, who, I suppose, are all centinels there,--are more, an' please your Honour, than were necessary;--and, to go on at that rate, would harrass a regiment all to pieces, which a commanding officer, who loves his men, will never do, if he can help it, because two centinels, added the Corporal, are as good as twenty.--I have been a commanding officer myself in the Corps de Garde a hundred times, continued Trim, rising an inch higher in his figure, as he spoke,--and all the time I had the honour to serve his Majesty King William, in relieving the most considerable posts, I never left more than two in my life.--Very right, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby,--but you do not consider, Trim, that the towers, in Solomon's days, were not such things as our bastions, flanked and defended by other works;--this, Trim, was an invention since Solomon's death; nor had they horn-works, or ravelins before the curtin, in his time;--or such a fosse as we make with a cuvette in the middle of it, and with covered ways and counterscarps pallisadoed along it, to guard against a Coup de main:--So that the seven men upon the tower were a party, I dare say, from the Corps de Garde, set there, not only to look out, but to defend it.--They could be no more, an' please your Honour, than a Corporal's Guard.--My father smiled inwardly, but not outwardly--the subject being rather too serious, considering what had happened, to make a jest of.--So putting his pipe into his mouth, which he had just lighted,--he contented himself with ordering Trim to read on. He read on as follows:
'To have the fear of God before our eyes, and, in our mutual dealings with each other, to govern our actions by the eternal measures of right and wrong:--The first of these will comprehend the duties of religion;--the second, those of morality, which are so inseparably connected together, that you cannot divide these two tables, even in imagination, (tho' the attempt is often made in practice) without breaking and mutually destroying them both.
I said the attempt is often made; and so it is;--there being nothing more common than to see a man who has no sense at all of religion, and indeed has so much honesty as to pretend to none, who would take it as the bitterest affront, should you but hint at a suspicion of his moral character,--or imagine he was not conscientiously just and scrupulous to the uttermost mite.
'When there is some appearance that it is so,--tho' one is unwilling even to suspect the appearance of so amiable a virtue as moral honesty, yet were we to look into the grounds of it, in the present case, I am persuaded we should find little reason to envy such a one the honour of his motive.
'Let him declaim as pompously as he chooses upon the subject, it will be found to rest upon no better foundation than either his interest, his pride, his ease, or some such little and changeable passion as will give us but small dependence upon his actions in matters of great distress.
'I will illustrate this by an example.
'I know the banker I deal with, or the physician I usually call in,'-- (There is no need, cried Dr. Slop, (waking) to call in any physician in this case)--'to be neither of them
(I see plainly, said my father, that this sermon has been composed to be preached at the Temple,--or at some Assize.--I like the reasoning,--and am sorry that Dr. Slop has fallen asleep before the time of his conviction:-- for it is now clear, that the Parson, as I thought at first, never insulted St. Paul in the least;--nor has there been, brother, the least difference between them.--A great matter, if they had differed, replied my uncle Toby,--the best friends in the world may differ sometimes.--True,--brother Toby quoth my father, shaking hands with him,--we'll fill our pipes, brother, and then Trim shall go on.
Well,--what dost thou think of it? said my father, speaking to Corporal Trim, as he reached his tobacco-box.
I think, answered the Corporal, that the seven watch-men upon the tower, who, I suppose, are all centinels there,--are more, an' please your Honour, than were necessary;--and, to go on at that rate, would harrass a regiment all to pieces, which a commanding officer, who loves his men, will never do, if he can help it, because two centinels, added the Corporal, are as good as twenty.--I have been a commanding officer myself in the Corps de Garde a hundred times, continued Trim, rising an inch higher in his figure, as he spoke,--and all the time I had the honour to serve his Majesty King William, in relieving the most considerable posts, I never left more than two in my life.--Very right, Trim, quoth my uncle Toby,--but you do not consider, Trim, that the towers, in Solomon's days, were not such things as our bastions, flanked and defended by other works;--this, Trim, was an invention since Solomon's death; nor had they horn-works, or ravelins before the curtin, in his time;--or such a fosse as we make with a cuvette in the middle of it, and with covered ways and counterscarps pallisadoed along it, to guard against a Coup de main:--So that the seven men upon the tower were a party, I dare say, from the Corps de Garde, set there, not only to look out, but to defend it.--They could be no more, an' please your Honour, than a Corporal's Guard.--My father smiled inwardly, but not outwardly--the subject being rather too serious, considering what had happened, to make a jest of.--So putting his pipe into his mouth, which he had just lighted,--he contented himself with ordering Trim to read on. He read on as follows:
'To have the fear of God before our eyes, and, in our mutual dealings with each other, to govern our actions by the eternal measures of right and wrong:--The first of these will comprehend the duties of religion;--the second, those of morality, which are so inseparably connected together, that you cannot divide these two tables, even in imagination, (tho' the attempt is often made in practice) without breaking and mutually destroying them both.
I said the attempt is often made; and so it is;--there being nothing more common than to see a man who has no sense at all of religion, and indeed has so much honesty as to pretend to none, who would take it as the bitterest affront, should you but hint at a suspicion of his moral character,--or imagine he was not conscientiously just and scrupulous to the uttermost mite.
'When there is some appearance that it is so,--tho' one is unwilling even to suspect the appearance of so amiable a virtue as moral honesty, yet were we to look into the grounds of it, in the present case, I am persuaded we should find little reason to envy such a one the honour of his motive.
'Let him declaim as pompously as he chooses upon the subject, it will be found to rest upon no better foundation than either his interest, his pride, his ease, or some such little and changeable passion as will give us but small dependence upon his actions in matters of great distress.
'I will illustrate this by an example.
'I know the banker I deal with, or the physician I usually call in,'-- (There is no need, cried Dr. Slop, (waking) to call in any physician in this case)--'to be neither of them