The Middle Class Gentleman [9]
JOURDAIN: What kind of little baggage is this? Are you mocking me?
NICOLE: Certainly not, sir, I should be very sorry to do so. He, he, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll give you a smack on the nose if you go on laughing.
NICOLE: Sir, I can't help it. He, he, he, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You are not going to stop?
NICOLE: Sir, I beg pardon. But you are so funny that I couldn't help laughing. He, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What insolence!
NICOLE: You're so funny like that. He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll . . .
NICOLE: Please excuse me. He, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Listen. If you go on laughing the least bit, I swear I'll give you the biggest slap ever given.
NICOLE: Alright, sir, it's done, I won't laugh any more.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Take good care not to. Presently you must clean . . .
NICOLE: He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You must clean . . .
NICOLE: He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You must, I say, clean the room and . . .
NICOLE: He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Again! NICOLE: (Falling down with laughter) Then beat me sir, and let me have my laugh out, it will do me more good. He, he, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'm furious.
NICOLE: Have mercy, sir! I beg you to let me laugh. He, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: If I catch you . . .
NICOLE: Sir! I shall burst . . . Oh! if I don't laugh. He, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: But did anyone ever see such a hussy as that, who laughs in my face instead of receiving my, orders?
NICOLE: What would you have me do, sir?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: That you consider getting my house ready for the company that's coming soon, you hussy.
NICOLE: Ah, by my faith, I don't feel like laughing any more. All your guests make such a disorder here that the word "company" is enough to put me in a bad humor.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Why, should I shut my door to everyone for your sake?
NICOLE: You should at least shut it to some people.
ACT THREE
SCENE III (Madame Jourdain, Monsieur Jourdain, Nicole, Lackeys)
MADAME JOURDAIN: Ah, ah! Here's a new story! What's this, what's this, husband, this outfit you have on there? Don't you care what people think of you when you are got up like that? And do you want yourself laughed at everywhere?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: None but fools and dolts will laugh at me wife.
MADAME JOURDAIN: Truly, they haven't waited until now, your antics have long given a laugh to everyone.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Who's everyone, if you please?
MADAME JOURDAIN: Everyone is everyone who is right and who is wiser than you. For my part, I am scandalized at the life you lead. I no longer recognize our house. One would say it's the beginning of Carnival here, every day; and beginning early in the morning, so it won't be forgotten, one hears nothing but the racket of fiddles and singers which disturbs the whole neighborhood.
NICOLE: Madame speaks well. I'll never be able to get my housework done properly with that gang you have come here. They have feet that hunt for mud in every part of town to bring it here; and poor Franoise almost has her teeth on the floor, scrubbing the boards that your fine masters come to dirty up every day.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What, our servant Nicole, you have quite a tongue for a peasant.
MADAME JOURDAIN: Nicole is right, and she has more sense than you. I'd like to know what you think you're going to do with a Dancing Master, at your age?
NICOLE: And with a hulking Fencing Master who comes stamping his feet, shaking the whole house and tearing up all the floorboards in our drawing-room.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Be quiet, both servant and wife!
MADAME JOURDAIN: Is it that you're learning to dance for the time when you'll have no legs to dance on?
NICOLE: Do you want to kill someone?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Quiet, I tell you! You are ignorant women, both of you, and you don't know the advantages of all this.
MADAME JOURDAIN: You should instead be thinking of marrying off your daughter, who is of an age to be provided for.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll think of marrying off
NICOLE: Certainly not, sir, I should be very sorry to do so. He, he, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll give you a smack on the nose if you go on laughing.
NICOLE: Sir, I can't help it. He, he, he, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You are not going to stop?
NICOLE: Sir, I beg pardon. But you are so funny that I couldn't help laughing. He, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What insolence!
NICOLE: You're so funny like that. He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll . . .
NICOLE: Please excuse me. He, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Listen. If you go on laughing the least bit, I swear I'll give you the biggest slap ever given.
NICOLE: Alright, sir, it's done, I won't laugh any more.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Take good care not to. Presently you must clean . . .
NICOLE: He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You must clean . . .
NICOLE: He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: You must, I say, clean the room and . . .
NICOLE: He, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Again! NICOLE: (Falling down with laughter) Then beat me sir, and let me have my laugh out, it will do me more good. He, he, he, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'm furious.
NICOLE: Have mercy, sir! I beg you to let me laugh. He, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: If I catch you . . .
NICOLE: Sir! I shall burst . . . Oh! if I don't laugh. He, he, he!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: But did anyone ever see such a hussy as that, who laughs in my face instead of receiving my, orders?
NICOLE: What would you have me do, sir?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: That you consider getting my house ready for the company that's coming soon, you hussy.
NICOLE: Ah, by my faith, I don't feel like laughing any more. All your guests make such a disorder here that the word "company" is enough to put me in a bad humor.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Why, should I shut my door to everyone for your sake?
NICOLE: You should at least shut it to some people.
ACT THREE
SCENE III (Madame Jourdain, Monsieur Jourdain, Nicole, Lackeys)
MADAME JOURDAIN: Ah, ah! Here's a new story! What's this, what's this, husband, this outfit you have on there? Don't you care what people think of you when you are got up like that? And do you want yourself laughed at everywhere?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: None but fools and dolts will laugh at me wife.
MADAME JOURDAIN: Truly, they haven't waited until now, your antics have long given a laugh to everyone.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Who's everyone, if you please?
MADAME JOURDAIN: Everyone is everyone who is right and who is wiser than you. For my part, I am scandalized at the life you lead. I no longer recognize our house. One would say it's the beginning of Carnival here, every day; and beginning early in the morning, so it won't be forgotten, one hears nothing but the racket of fiddles and singers which disturbs the whole neighborhood.
NICOLE: Madame speaks well. I'll never be able to get my housework done properly with that gang you have come here. They have feet that hunt for mud in every part of town to bring it here; and poor Franoise almost has her teeth on the floor, scrubbing the boards that your fine masters come to dirty up every day.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: What, our servant Nicole, you have quite a tongue for a peasant.
MADAME JOURDAIN: Nicole is right, and she has more sense than you. I'd like to know what you think you're going to do with a Dancing Master, at your age?
NICOLE: And with a hulking Fencing Master who comes stamping his feet, shaking the whole house and tearing up all the floorboards in our drawing-room.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Be quiet, both servant and wife!
MADAME JOURDAIN: Is it that you're learning to dance for the time when you'll have no legs to dance on?
NICOLE: Do you want to kill someone?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: Quiet, I tell you! You are ignorant women, both of you, and you don't know the advantages of all this.
MADAME JOURDAIN: You should instead be thinking of marrying off your daughter, who is of an age to be provided for.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN: I'll think of marrying off