The Nerdist Way_ How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick [50]
The stuff here should get you started, or at least thinking about it. People hurt themselves in gyms because they don’t know or understand the mechanics of their bodies and pull or wrench too hard in the wrong direction without realizing it. Don’t be the injured sobbing person at the gym. It’s what the jocks expect of the Nerds. Please do all of the fitness/diet stuff AT YOUR OWN RISK. You’ll notice that there are three workout sections, because my lifestyle is such that I need workouts that are suitable for (1) going to a gym, (2) working out at home, and (3) working out on the road (usually in hotels). The next sections were written based on a combination of my own workouts and a rigorous interview session with Tom in which I denied him both food and water and ensured the safe return of his Chihuahua, Mija, if he cooperated and offered you, the Nerd reader, the highest-quality fitness information.
Enjoy! (Safely.)
WORKOUTS
If I have time to do nothing else, I’ll stretch for ten minutes. If I have slightly more time, I’ll do cardio. Even twenty minutes is better than no minutes. For me, twenty minutes of cardio at a light run with varying inclines every five minutes is a great way to maintain a decent level of fitness. If you want to start somewhere, this is a good place. Your heart lives to pump blood through your body, so doing that faster than resting state a couple of times a week will start to condition it to handle more stress. If, in addition to the cardio, you can fit in a workout once a week that targets the muscles, that’s even better. However, it’s often less easy to figure out a workout than to step outside or onto a treadmill for a power walk.
AEROBIC VS. ANAEROBIC EXERCISE
The science-y, college boy, gonna-get-whupped-in-a-redneck-bar answer is that aerobic exercises are fueled by oxygen and anaerobic exercises are fueled by a source other than oxygen, namely glycogen, which is basically unused glucose stored in your muscles and liver after breaking down from carbohydrates. No-carb diets are dangerous if you’re trying to build muscle, because carbs provide the fuel to do it. Distinguishing the two types!
Aerobic
• “Heart-pumping” exercises
• Running, jumping, spinning, swimming, Riverdancing
• Longer intensity
Anaerobic
• “Muscle-building” exercises
• Weight-lifting, machines that cause resistance
• Short bursts of intensity
A good, well-balanced exercise regime utilizes both. If you lift weights one or two days a week, consider doing an aerobic exercise one or two of the other days for maximum efficacy. NOTE: You don’t want to lift the same muscle groups too much in a week. Muscles need adequate recovery time to strengthen. Breaking up your workouts in this manner will help ensure that you do this! A good rule of thumb is to wait forty-eight hours for a muscle group to fully recover.
TO QUOTE LAWRENCE THE CABLE GENTLEMAN: “GET HER DONE”
To give you one less excuse, the following are three workouts Trainer Tom (or Tom Weights, as I sometimes call him) has come up with for you. They are good, generic places to get you in the fitness door if you’ve been outside pressing your face up against the glass for a while. Since aerobic exercises are slightly more intuitive, Tom’s starter program is going to be in the ANAEROBIC (remember thirty-five seconds ago?) category. My workouts with him are usually thirty minutes straight, during which I am constantly alternating the muscle groups being worked. If I need to catch my breath, I’ll grab a sip of water or do some microstretch-ing in between moves, but generally I go from one exercise to the next right away. Tom also changes the order