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■ Use a slow, controlled movement to get back to the starting position.

■ Exhale on the pull.

■ DO 2 SETS OF 15 REPS.

WIDE BACK PULLS

■ Same as above, but keep your palms down and pull straight back with your elbows perpendicular to your body.

■ DO 2 SETS OF 15 REPS.

Two Variations to Toggle Difficulty:

• Do one arm at a time!

• Do them on one leg!

» Stand with one leg slightly bent.

» Bring your other knee up until your thigh is perpendicular to your body.

» Don’t lean back or raise your shoulders.

» Switch legs between sets.

Shoulders

What’s that? You want MORE band exercises?! Well, OK! Your happiness is my food, after all! Instead of forcing a door to help you, this time you will stand on the midpoint of the tubing while grasping the handles. Your feet will help create more tension: one for less, both for more. To add further resistance, spread your feet apart but no more than shoulder width.

LATERAL RAISES

■ Stand with your hands at your sides.

■ Keep your arms straightish (never lock anything).

■ Keep your knees slightly bent and your back straight.

■ Raise your arms outward until they are parallel to the ground. Think of the doors opening on your DeLorean time machine when you get in it to go back and show your old self how incredimazeballs you’re going to look in the future.

■ Lower your arms to the starting position.

■ DO 2 SETS OF 15 REPS.

FRONT RAISES

■ Same as lateral raises EXCEPT you will raise your arms straight ahead and upward until they are parallel to the floor.

■ DO 2 SETS OF 15 REPS.

Biceps

The biceps curl motion is pretty basic, so the trick to getting the best results is to again alternate the positioning of your arms. Your muscles are not flat, as the Church once believed. They are three-dimensional! Changing positions targets the muscle groups more fully, which is what people refer to when they use the term “body sculpting.” Slightly annoying people, I’d say. The same ones who also say “anyhoo” and “jazz fusion.”

STANDING BAND CURLS

■ Stand on the band in whichever resistance configuration works best for you.

■ Knees slightly bent! Back straight! Eyes forward! (Are you sensing a pattern?)

■ Hold your arms at your side with the palms facing forward.

■ Keeping your body still, do the curling motion.

■ DO 1 SET OF 15 REPS.

■ For the second set, point your forearms at 45-degree angles from your body (well, technically one arm is 45 degrees and the other is 135 degrees, but let’s not get too mathy.)

■ Curl up and in toward your body.

■ DO 1 SET OF 15 REPS.

ALTERNATING BAND CURLS

■ Now do the same two exercises above, but this time alternate your arms one at a time instead of curling both simultaneously!

■ DO 1 SET OF 15 REPS FOR EACH ARM.

Triceps

Only one of the following two exercises will use the band this time.

BAND TRICEPS EXTENSIONS

■ Attach the hook or clip at the middle of the band to a door or other stable, stationary object. You can also sit on the band to keep it from flying back and smashing in your face meat.

■ Face said stationary object.

■ Assume the downhill skier position (lower back flat and not arched, neck in line with spine, knees slightly bent).

■ Extend your arms back at the elbow, keeping them tight to your body.

■ Exhale on the extension. (As a general rule, you want to exhale TOWARD the muscle contraction and inhale AWAY from it.)

■ DO 2 SETS OF 15–20 REPS.

TRICEPS BENCH EXTENSIONS (DIPS)

■ Get a chair or other object that comes up about as high as the seat. (I’ve used the edge of a bathtub.)

■ Make SURE it is stable, otherwise it could tip forward and you will fall and cry.

■ Place your hands on the edge and lightly grasp the lip of the object.

■ Extend your feet together on the ground out in front of you.

■ Holding your upper body up with your arms, dip down slowly until your elbows create a 90-degree angle.

■ Push yourself back up.

■ DO 2 SETS OF 15–20 REPS.

Legs

You guessed it! Squats and lunges! You need exactly zero equipment for