The Nerdist Way_ How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick [75]
So there I was, thirty-one, newly sober and lookin’ to make my life all sunny. The main problem was, my credit score was low. Equifax, TransUnion, and Experian are like three ravenous harpies fighting for a grip on your short hairs. Sucky or not, that’s just the way it is [Hornsby piano hook], some things will never change [and other lyrics that are applicable that I don’t remember]. Every time I applied for something they would actually pull out a boom box and play the “bom bom ba-bom, waaaaaaaahhh” brass section hit that people who lose on The Price Is Right get. (BTW, I always thought that show should be called How Much Is This Shit?) I had lapsed accounts and numerous really late accounts that were equivalent to a virtual poop smear all over the face of my purchasing power. I decided that I had to fix it. Clearly, it was tied to my identity and represented chubby-drunk Chris Hardwick, so naturally I needed to refresh it.
TIME TO FIX YOUR CREDIT
I’m not going to lie . . . if you have messed-up credit, it’s a bit of a process to repair it. NOT IMPOSSIBLE, though, so don’t get bummed. It just takes a little diligence and time. I wouldn’t waste your money on credit repair bureaus. You’ll just be paying them a bunch of money to do stuff you can do yourself.
First off, you have to make the decision to commit to perfect credit. It will act as a backbone when you start wondering whether or not you should put another video game on your already swollen Visa card.
Secondly, you’re going to need to know how bad or not bad the situation is. Reality isn’t mutable until you identify it! Get your credit report. At the time, I just paid some online service or other to get reports from all three companies at once. This probably wasn’t the best approach. By law, the big three are REQUIRED to give you a free copy of your credit report every twelve months. Even if you have “good” credit, it’s a smart idea anyway onaccounta rampant credit fraud and such.
Consumer credit is governed by the Federal Trade Commission, so for any legal credit questions you may have just go to their Web site (ftc.gov) and type “credit” into the search bar. You’ll get a list of pages that address such matters. According to their site, AnnualCreditReport.com is the only site sanctioned by the government, and not to be fooled by shifty or non-English imitators. If you’ve gotten your report within the last twelve months, the bureaus will also provide you with a free copy if you’ve recently been turned down for credit.
Once I had my reports, I went through them to assess the damage. There was a lot, so I noted all of the negatively reporting companies. Then I made a file for all of my reports and correspondence. (It’s as thick as two Harry Potter books today.) My strategy was one of mild harassment. I wrote the following form letter:
Dear [Company that has my balls in a vise]:
After recently reviewing my credit file, I have noticed that you are reporting [ACCOUNT NUMBER] as a “Negative Account.” As I have paid this account on [DATE: specific dates are always good] and have enclosed a copy of the document that supports this. Please adjust your reporting to my credit file accordingly.
Most sincerely,
Chris Hardwick
Then I sign it, because that seems official for some reason.
Note: If you have not paid the account or do not have proof, you can request that they verify the information they’re reporting. Sometimes it’s wrong.
Here’s an example of a response I received several weeks later:
I sent one every month or so to each company, apologizing and asking for clemency. Also a company isn’t supposed to report you until you’re thirty days late, but some of them cut this date close. If you have proof that you were NOT thirty days late, USE IT.
Next, I tracked down phone numbers. I called