The New Eve - Lewis Robert [40]
God invites you to see things differently. From His perspective your single years are alive with opportunity. The apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:32–35 that single people are in some ways actually better able to focus on the things of God. Rather than wastefully living for the moment, the wise single woman will adopt this better perspective and focus on the key priorities unique to this season of life.
First is character development. What sort of woman do you want to become? It's the question in this season of life. What you decide here and act on will either serve or shackle you for seasons to come. Please hear that. Character is the ground floor of life. Who you are will always be more important than what you do. Always.
In 1 Timothy 4:12 Paul said, “Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.” Solomon's proverbs flesh out these general character traits with more specifics. Truth telling, generosity, sexual restraint, accountability, and a strong work ethic are only some of the items discussed in this wisdom literature. The point is that in your single years you have a unique opportunity to build your character rather than take on the harder work of rebuilding it as some women have to do in later seasons. No one can choose your character for you. Character is intensely personal work. And it is work! As the historian James Froude once said, “You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”4
So let me ask again: What kind of woman do you aspire and strive to be? Can you name the traits you want people to discuss when they speak about you behind your back? Know this: the better your character, the better your life. And as a single woman, you have lots of discretionary time to hammer it out.
Second, as a single woman, you should spend your time developing your career abilities. Somehow Christianity has been tagged as anticareer in regard to women, but the fact is, every Christian woman should maximize her career potential. After all, it is God Himself who gave you that potential, and you never know how He might choose to use you. Holding back your abilities is like stopping yourself at the doorway to the arena in which you were born to perform. Let yourself go! Run free and hard into all the great things you can do and achieve. Even as I write, my single daughter Rebekah is serving as a teacher in Rwanda with internationals and children of the genocide. The skills she has developed during her singleness make this doable. Many of the skills and abilities you develop as a single will come back and bless you and others again and again in new ways in the following seasons. You may be surprised at the people and the opportunities that come calling. So give yourself to skill development.
I strongly suggest you use a number of the wonderful personality and vocational testing profiles available to help you identify both who you are and the gifts and talents you possess. Some I have used are www.strengthfinder.com from the Gallup organization, www.aimstesting.org (Aptitude Inventory Measurement Services), and www.youruniquedesign.com. Each of these offers tremendous help in knowing yourself, your strengths, and what settings those strengths are best released in. Your single years, from a personality and abilities perspective, are the best time to discover who you are, who you're not (sometimes this is even more important than knowing who you are), and what kinds of things make you come alive.
Third, you have more time now than ever to focus on your spiritual life. There are incredible spiritual opportunities for you to explore for growth and maturity as a believer in Christ. Don't cram your schedule full of empty busyness. Sure, you should enjoy life. See places, do things, go though doors that open only once. But put God at the center of it