The New Eve - Lewis Robert [48]
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness. (emphasis added)
I have a strong sense that this Proverbs 31 woman is in the season of life we are now addressing: “Married with Young-Adult Children.” And it is here that she is able to pull off a remarkable balance of being wife and mother while adding things like real-estate developer, fashion designer, salesperson, and Kingdom builder into the mix. You have the chance here to spread your wings as well. With your teenagers preparing to leave home or entering college and with growing needs for extra income and retirement savings, stepping back into part-time or full-time work may be a wise move. This might also start the process of crafting a new vision for the vocational aspect of your life.
On the other hand, maybe you have the financial freedom to forgo a career. For you there is the opportunity to consider instead a new and more expanded phase of Kingdom work. Maybe you will volunteer your skills at church, at a school, at a local faith-based agency, or in a ministry on the other side of the world! Yes, you can do that. Mentor young women, tutor struggling students, serve on the board of a nonprofit, do charity fund-raising, help plant a new church, develop a Christian drama team, do financial counseling, work in a recovery program, develop and oversee your church's Web site, work with international students, or lead your own ministry organization. It's your life. Make it an adventure!
This is also the time to enjoy life with your husband in new and exciting ways. For example, in this season Sherard and I decided to sell our house and buy another one we could remodel together for life after the kids are gone. We made it our project for us. We also took several exotic vacations. Only the two of us. With extra time and with your adult children often consumed with their own agendas, the opportunity is there to step out in new and bold ways. So go for it!
Married Empty Nester
An amazing thing happens when the last kid packs up and leaves the house: you and your husband start dating again. You rediscover the movie theaters and restaurants that mysteriously fell off your map decades ago. You sleep in, eat out, stop over, and drive on and on to wherever the scenic road leads. This is a time for marital revitalization. Or at least it should be! With the kids gone, the opportunity is there to forge new goals and plan new adventures together. Don't miss this opportunity, or you will miss each other.
I remember talking with one empty-nester friend of mine who surprised me with the announcement that he had recently purchased a motorcycle. “It's time to ride!” he bellowed. I laughed as I pictured my friend—a quiet, humble physician— morphing into a wild, carefree biker roaring down the highway. Then I asked, “What did your wife think about your buying a motorcycle?” He paused for a moment and then with a boyish grin said, “She bought one too.” Now there's a wise woman. The couple that plays together stays together.
This season is also a time to compose new and exciting individual goals. Really, your career options are wide open now. You can restart your former career and do so with the satisfaction that you've been the mom your children needed. Or you might dare to take up the challenge of an entirely new pursuit. You could try your hand at art, teaching, administration, caregiving, leadership, or even something as bold and meaningful as what Lisa Smith and her husband, Frank, did.
Lisa and Frank had truly arrived. After twenty years of hard work and faithfulness, they had established themselves as pillars in their church, their community, and their workplaces. Best of all, they had succeeded in raising their two sons to follow Christ. As for finances, they had practiced careful stewardship with everything God gave them. Now they were middle-aged and debt free. With a household income well into six figures, they had the freedom to