The New Eve - Lewis Robert [73]
Susan started to backtrack. She had not meant to be insensitive to Patricia's situation, but Patricia politely waved her off.
“No, really. It's fine. Let me clarify what I mean. I'll begin by showing my card.”
“That's my fear,” Patricia said. “I'm fifty-one. I never married or had kids. What I have had is a great career full of perks and advancements. Sounds like the dream life of some hard-shelled feminist, right? Only in my case, it's not. The truth is, I never set out to walk this kind of path. Not intentionally, anyway. When I graduated from college in the mid ’70s, all I ever heard from the women I admired was that it was up to me to make my own way. Don't get stuck waiting for a man to take care of you. Show the world what a woman can do in the workplace. All of that made sense to me. A lot of it still does. But what happened is, I lost perspective. So did my friends and mentors.
“After college I took a series of tough jobs. Workplace equity was far from a reality in the ’70s and ’80s, so I worked harder than anyone else. After a while I got promoted. Then women everywhere were getting opportunities like never before. I was exhilarated to be part of the revolution. By the ’90s I made VP in my company and was one of the best in my field. But then I realized I was breaking into my forties and was still single. Twenty years had blazed by since college, and all I had to show for it was a place at the boardroom table.
“Now that seat at the table was pretty good, but it dawned on me that I had shut down other important avenues for my life. For years I had lived project to project, challenge to challenge. I never made time for finding a mate. So then I took a stab at carving out more time for my social life, but there was always a desk full of work or another plane to catch. Besides, if I'm honest, I liked it that way. Work was what I knew. I was good at it. So I kept doing what I had always done. Now here I am. Another ten years have gone by. My career is awesome, but I'm still alone, and now more than ever, being alone actually feels lonely.”
Anne reached over and squeezed Patricia's hand.
“Thanks,” Patricia said. “It's hard sometimes, but I'm OK. I guess the thing I want to say, Susan, is that now is a good time for you to take stock of your options. You can do anything you want. You've got a great career going, and no doubt you can turn it into something huge someday. But you can also do something else. You can balance that opportunity by seeking other options I failed to consider—options that can save you from regret later in life. You might start by exploring the possibility of how to cut back on your work hours and … excuse me … your insane travel schedule. Your company clearly values you. Tell them you're excited about your continued commitment to them, but that you want to travel less, be home more, and have a more normal life. Maybe there is another position at the company that better fits you and what you want in life. Certainly there's no harm in looking.
“Just know this: the steps you take now will go a long way in determining what your life will be like long-range. My advice is, decide now what you really want in life and then do what's necessary to get there. Don't put this off! It's too important. You might be surprised by what doors God opens up for you. I mean, He is with you in this.”
“All that makes way too much sense to me,” Susan said with a sarcastic laugh. “I certainly don't want to lessen my chances to have a family, but I just don't know if I can scale back the one part of my life that's working so well so that I can have a better shot at finding a mate. It could hurt my career, and there aren't any guarantees that I could be happily married anyway. So I guess what I'm saying is, Is a happy marriage anything more than luck? I don't feel secure when