The Psychology of Dexter - Bella DePaulo [72]
DEXTER MORGAN
Let us first take a look at Dexter, whose personality and behavior is wrought with evidence of a narcissistic upbringing. We tend to attribute most of his behaviors to sociopathy, but considering him as the adult child of a narcissistic family may provide an even better explanation.
Psychologically, Dexter is perhaps most strongly afflicted by his self-proclaimed inability to identify feelings, yet it is also quite clear that he suffers from problems identifying personal priorities, a tendency toward people pleasing, and even a need to gain the approval of others—particularly Harry. The latter need is so strong that Dexter is often visited by his dead father via flashbacks and waking dreams that provide a running commentary laced with praise or disapproval for his every action. Dexter’s inclination toward people pleasing is related. When not attempting to satisfy Harry’s need to rid the world of ruthless murderers, Dexter can be found responding to the needs of Deb, Rita, or work colleagues. He claims to be doing so to preserve his cover, but he really appears to act out of a sense of duty or obligation.
Perhaps both traits have evolved from Dexter’s difficulty with identifying feelings. Though antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy, or possibly even psychopathy can sometimes explain such a problem, there is a better explanation in this case. Dexter does experience feelings—he just doesn’t always know what to do with them. We can see that Dexter is easily confused by evidence of his own emotions and often does not know how to respond to those expressed by others. His relationship with Rita is most illustrative of this struggle. Dexter seemed almost blindsided at times during seasons three and four by the discovery of what appeared to be feelings for her and the children, though his emotional growth throughout the series was always visible to the viewer. Because of his easy confusion when it comes to feelings and tendency to follow the whims of others, Dexter also demonstrates difficulty responding to his wants and needs. This manifests most prevalently in his obvious inability to prioritize, especially during season four. Dexter ran himself ragged attempting to meet the needs of his Dark Passenger, Rita, the children, Deb, and work. When he finally came to terms with his true priority—family—during the season four finale, he painfully learned that he was too late.
Telltale signs of a dysfunctional upbringing are also evident in Dexter’s relationships with others and in his work behavior. With regard to the former, Dexter exhibits romantic foibles common to adult children of narcissistic families. This includes a history of failed romances and a hot-and-cold relationship with Rita that was often plagued with issues of trust. Dexter’s dysfunctional tendencies in interpersonal relationships also extend to friendships, of which he has had very few, if not just one: district attorney Miguel Prado. Within these relationships, Dexter has occasionally shown a tendency toward extremely unhealthy vulnerability, even disclosing his Dark Passenger to Doakes, Miguel, and Trinity. At work, both for the police department and for his Dark Passenger, Dexter displays characteristic dissatisfaction with his achievements, which can be assumed from his workaholic nature and constant search for more successes/ victims.
DEBRA MORGAN
Deb, like her brother, possesses both the personality and behavioral tendencies typical to adult children of narcissistic families. Deb, in fact, appears to be an almost perfect case example. Psychologically, she seems to exhibit every trait identified