The Psychology of Dexter - Bella DePaulo [83]
There is one last thing that Dexter has in common with other addicts. While Dexter seems to have thus far kept his omnipresent mask in place, the show continues to push him toward a point beyond which maintaining the façade and giving in to his dark compulsions will prove mutually exclusive. He would not be the first addict to face such a choice. Just as the shattering of Dexter’s double life would lead to condemnation, prison, and potentially worse, more traditional addicts often find that the conflict between their addictions and the rest of their lives sets them on a road that ends in personal, emotional, and physical destruction.
Not everyone has had to deal with the fallout of discovering that the charming stranger dating their adopted sister is actually their brother, fewer still that their brother is a serial killer, and even fewer on top of that have had the entire experience made all the more difficult because they themselves are also a serial killer. But plenty of people have discovered that their charming significant other is a liar, a cheater, or a drug addict, and plenty have lost money, health, friends, and safety at the hands of trusted people whose addictions and personalities made them unable to honor that trust. The difference between the addict, the killer, and the average Joe is a little closer than we like to think about. It’s a matter of degrees, of different points on the spectrum of “normal” functioning. Most everyone’s had moments of narcissism, and few of us have managed to avoid overreacting emotionally. Even fewer of us have never known the feeling of truly wanting something even though it was inappropriate. It can sometimes be difficult to know exactly when lines are crossed and patterns of behavior develop that make life difficult. However, by exaggerating these normally sordid and uncomfortable themes and setting them up in a bright, cartoony Miami where the cops are witty and beautiful and the serial killers seem to outnumber the general population, Dexter gives us a darkly humorous place to process our own experiences with addicts, sociopaths, and antisocial personalities, as well as those tendencies in ourselves. Though the crimes are larger than life, the underlying disorders and behaviors are dead on.
Adi Jaffe is wrapping up his final year at the top-ranked UCLA psychology doctoral program. He specializes in behavioral-neuroscience and assessment as they relate to addictions and addiction-related behaviors and has received several awards from organizations such as NIDA, APA, and more. Adi maintains one of the most comprehensive addiction sites on the web at www.AllAboutAddiction.com and writes for Psychology Today, TakePart, and other online and print publications. He’s published numerous academic articles and has given dozens of presentations at national and international conferences.
How dare they! Writer David Barber-Callaghan and evolutionary psychologist Nigel Barber want us to take seriously the possibility that Dexter—our darling Dexter—is no better than Rita’s ex, that mean, abusive, violent, drug-addled Paul. No, wait, I’ve understated their case. They think that Dexter is in some ways even more abusive toward Rita than Paul was. Can you imagine?
RITA’S ROCKY RELATIONSHIPS
DAVID BARBER-CALLAGHAN AND NIGEL BARBER
Is Dexter Any Better Than Paul?
A female acquaintance always pursues the “wrong type of guy,” perpetually ending up in dysfunctional or abusive F relationships. Against all odds,