The Psychology of Dexter - Bella DePaulo [91]
Rita clearly thought Dexter was her knight in shining armor. But what did it mean that she chose a serial killer (albeit the Robin Hood of serial killers) to save her? Perhaps she was not as in the dark as she seemed. It was meaningful that she rarely questioned what Dexter was doing late at night; he always had an excuse such as “difficult case,” or “new serial killer,” and Rita accepted all explanations at face value and with minimal discussion. Yet Dexter is not a detective, but a blood spatter expert: late night forays are not often part of the job. Even when Rita did try to hold Dexter “accountable” it was with a story that was not really true, as when Rita convinced herself in season two that the true explanation behind his negligent and erratic behaviors was related to drug addiction. This story was one Rita knew well, and so it was likely easy to accept this narrative as opposed to doing the harder work of figuring out who Dexter really is. Another aspect of Dexter being a drug addict was that Rita had a new and clearly defined role as Dexter’s savior, a role that let her feel powerful and valuable. She could then focus on the need to get and keep Dexter clean and sober, as she lovingly provided support.
I don’t mean to suggest that Rita consciously knew Dexter is a serial killer. If Rita did know about Dexter’s darkest behaviors, it was a knowledge that was deeply out of her awareness, allowing her to preserve her denial. But she knew enough about him that she should have realized that he is not as mild-mannered and harmless as he sometimes appears. Rita’s denial of Dexter’s violent drives served a dual purpose. By not knowing about him, she also did not have to know herself.
But Do We Like Her? Rita’s Connection With Viewers
Despite the emerging complexities in the character of Rita, as well as the outstanding acting abilities of Julie Benz, in many ways, Rita was unlikable. Why? Rita’s lack of self-awareness and denial of her own anger as well as other complex feelings make her difficult to connect with, especially when compared with the other strong women in the series (Debra, Lieutenant LaGuerta). Even the brief but powerful introduction of Lila, who briefly threatened Rita’s turf as Dexter’s confident but unstable sexual partner, is easier to understand, even if we couldn’t relate to her wild and violent behaviors. Lila’s manipulative and desperately clingy ways were revealed quickly and we understood her true motives and desires. In many ways, she was the anti-Rita. Though ultimately a villain, she was powerful and strong. She knew exactly what she wanted and would do anything to get it. In contrast, Rita seemed to “go along,” and as long as events in her life corroborated her internal story that everything would be okay and that she had a protector, she seemed unusually chipper for a hard-working, single mom.
Rita did seem to be somewhat more forthright and honest about her feelings in season three. Rita displayed strength through her pregnancy, initially telling Dexter that she did not need him to be present in their baby’s life. She told us, and Dexter, that she could go it alone, and did not want a marriage that wasn’t sincere. However, when Dexter awkwardly mentioned (again) the apparent advantages of a marital merger to benefit their child, Rita—suffering from morning sickness—vomited in response. Her true feelings remained unclear. Was she really okay with not marrying Dexter? Or was she hoping that if she appeared strong, this would entice Dexter into chasing her? We didn’t know, but more important, it was not clear that Rita knew.
It was in the ways that Rita didn’t know herself that she was not quite as likable or as easy to connect with as the other women in the series. Most of the time, Rita denied her anger. A key exception to this was during her pregnancy, when Rita launched into angry tirades toward and in front of Dexter, her children, and her new friend, Silvia. In these moments, Rita was more likable, or at least more genuine. However, her denial was pervasive; she blamed these