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displays of aggression solely on “hormones,” denying that they might have been reflective of true feelings. Yet, perhaps she had some awareness of something amiss when she said, “It’s like I have this monster living inside of me and I don’t know how to control it” (“The Damage a Man Can Do,” 3-8). Of course, Rita might not have been talking about her vague awareness of her own aggression. Perhaps she was aware on some level that her child with Dexter may be equally as destructive as he is. But because Rita was so indirect and in the dark regarding her own feelings, and because she wanted so much to see things through rose-colored glasses, we couldn’t know for sure.

Rita did not like to revisit past hurts. In the first three seasons of Dexter we saw her exhibit an impulse to move on quickly from every painful event that confronted her: Dexter’s dishonesty, his relationship with Lila, his “addiction,” his mysterious absence when she had abnormal bleeding during her pregnancy, and her secret and lie to Dexter about her first marriage. Rita’s approach to life was to keep smiling, keep moving, and look ahead. And though I imagine that many of us can relate to the desire for everything to be okay, there was something quite unsatisfying about Rita’s “head in the sand” approach. Though Rita’s method of coping may have had some adaptive benefit, it left the viewer longing for more information. What was she really feeling? And who was Rita, really? What did she really want? Unfortunately, Rita’s death prevented us from knowing the answers.

Rita, Women, and Aggression

Rita’s history—spousal abuse, financial struggles, and the difficulties of being a single mother—is the kind of realistic but painful set of circumstances that we do not like to see on television. But as is often the case, how we respond to portrayals about women in popular culture media is complicated and contradictory; they reflect our own conflicting and internalized views of gender stereotypes. On the one hand, we like our female role models to be strong. For example, read any gossip magazine to see how we deny vulnerability in new mothers. We expect them to give birth, lose weight immediately, look gorgeous, and never mind sleep deprivation, the overwhelming demands of a newborn baby, or the depressive effects of postpartum hormones. On the other hand, women are not supposed to be too aggressive. The women in Dexter engage in aggressive behaviors only in ways that do not cause real harm. Debra Morgan gets away with being aggressive through her hilariously placed and graphic expletive comments when faced with any sort of frustration or vulnerability: she is good at speaking her mind when offended. But Debra’s aggression is usually experienced as harmless. She blows up, spouts off, and things go back to normal. For example, when confronted by Batista about her undisclosed relationship with Anton, and how this might threaten her promotion to detective, Deborah fired back with a comment about how Batista met his girlfriend, one of their colleagues, while seeking a prostitute. But she then apologized, feeling guilty for her outburst. And perhaps Debra’s aggression is not quite as unsettling because she never really finds happiness, meaning that we women never really envy her. We are constantly reminded of her vulnerability. Debra’s love interests are evil, ineffective, or killed, and she is more often than not alone. In the end, we feel sorry for Debra, and whatever aggression she expresses is neutralized by sadness we feel for her circumstances.

In part, it is sociocultural ideas about women and aggression and what Rita’s character pulled forth in us that made her difficult to connect with. Rita was in denial about Dexter’s murderous impulses. However, as I have suggested, Rita might not have been as ignorant as she seemed. What did it mean that Rita might deny her own aggression by finding partners who seem to have no problem expressing theirs? One possibility is that Rita did not have to think about her own aggression, and its potential for destruction, as