The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists [175]
awkward questions, and we all understand each other.'
Sweater paused, and regarded the other three brigands intently. `Do you follow me?' he asked.
`Yes, yes,' said Didlum eagerly. `Go on with it.' And Rushton and Grinder nodded assent.
`Afterwards,' resumed Sweater, `I'll arrange for a good report of the meeting to appear in the Weekly Ananias. I'll instruct the Editor to write it himself, and I'll tell him just what to say. I'll also get him to write a leading article about it, saying that electricity is sure to supersede gas for lighting purposes in the very near future. Then the article will go on to refer to the huge profits made by the Gas Coy and to say how much better it would have been if the town had bought the gasworks years ago, so that those profits might have been used to reduce the rates, the same as has been done in other towns. Finally, the article will declare that it's a great pity that the Electric Light Supply should be in the hands of a private company, and to suggest that an effort be made to acquire it for the town.
`In the meantime we can all go about - in a very quiet and judicious way, of course - bragging about what a good thing we've got, and saying we don't mean to sell. We shall say that we've overcome all the initial expenses and difficulties connected with the installation of the works - that we are only just beginning to reap the reward of our industry and enterprise, and so on.
`Then,' continued the Chief, `we can arrange for it to be proposed in the Council that the Town should purchase the Electric Light Works.'
`But not by one of us four, you know,' said Grinder with a cunning leer.
`Certainly not; that would give the show away at once. There are, as you know - several members of the Band who are not shareholders in the company; we'll get some of them to do most of the talking. We, being the directors of the company, must pretend to be against selling, and stick out for our own price; and when we do finally consent we must make out that we are sacrificing our private interests for the good of the Town. We'll get a committee appointed - we'll have an expert engineer down from London - I know a man that will suit our purpose admirably - we'll pay him a trifle and he'll say whatever we tell him to - and we'll rush the whole business through before you can say "Jack Robinson", and before the rate-payers have time to realize what's being done. Not that we need worry ourselves much about them. Most of them take no interest in public affairs, but even if there is something said, it won't matter much to us once we've got the money. It'll be a nine days' wonder and then we'll hear no more of it.'
As the Chief ceased speaking, the other brigands also remained silent, speechless with admiration of his cleverness.
`Well, what do you think of it?' he asked.
`Think of it!' cried Grinder, enthusiastically. `I think it's splendid! Nothing could be better. If we can honly git away with it, I reckon it'll be one of the smartest thing we've ever done.'
`Smart ain't the word for it,' observed Rushton.
`There's no doubt it's a grand idear!' exclaimed Didlum, `and I've just thought of something else that might be done to help it along. We could arrange to 'ave a lot of letters sent "To the Editor of the Obscurer" and "To the Editor of the Ananias," and "To the Editor of the Weekly Chloroform" in favour of the scheme.'
`Yes, that's a very good idea,' said Grinder. `For that matter the editors could write them to themselves and sign them "Progress", "Ratepayer", "Advance Mugsborough", and sich-like.'
`Yes, that's all right,' said the Chief, thoughtfully, `but we must be careful not to overdo it; of course there will have to be a certain amount of publicity, but we don't want to create too much interest in it.' `Come to think of it,' observed Rushton arrogantly, `why should we trouble ourselves about the opinion of the ratepayers at all? Why should we trouble to fake the books, or declare a dividend or 'ave the harticles in the papers or anything else?
Sweater paused, and regarded the other three brigands intently. `Do you follow me?' he asked.
`Yes, yes,' said Didlum eagerly. `Go on with it.' And Rushton and Grinder nodded assent.
`Afterwards,' resumed Sweater, `I'll arrange for a good report of the meeting to appear in the Weekly Ananias. I'll instruct the Editor to write it himself, and I'll tell him just what to say. I'll also get him to write a leading article about it, saying that electricity is sure to supersede gas for lighting purposes in the very near future. Then the article will go on to refer to the huge profits made by the Gas Coy and to say how much better it would have been if the town had bought the gasworks years ago, so that those profits might have been used to reduce the rates, the same as has been done in other towns. Finally, the article will declare that it's a great pity that the Electric Light Supply should be in the hands of a private company, and to suggest that an effort be made to acquire it for the town.
`In the meantime we can all go about - in a very quiet and judicious way, of course - bragging about what a good thing we've got, and saying we don't mean to sell. We shall say that we've overcome all the initial expenses and difficulties connected with the installation of the works - that we are only just beginning to reap the reward of our industry and enterprise, and so on.
`Then,' continued the Chief, `we can arrange for it to be proposed in the Council that the Town should purchase the Electric Light Works.'
`But not by one of us four, you know,' said Grinder with a cunning leer.
`Certainly not; that would give the show away at once. There are, as you know - several members of the Band who are not shareholders in the company; we'll get some of them to do most of the talking. We, being the directors of the company, must pretend to be against selling, and stick out for our own price; and when we do finally consent we must make out that we are sacrificing our private interests for the good of the Town. We'll get a committee appointed - we'll have an expert engineer down from London - I know a man that will suit our purpose admirably - we'll pay him a trifle and he'll say whatever we tell him to - and we'll rush the whole business through before you can say "Jack Robinson", and before the rate-payers have time to realize what's being done. Not that we need worry ourselves much about them. Most of them take no interest in public affairs, but even if there is something said, it won't matter much to us once we've got the money. It'll be a nine days' wonder and then we'll hear no more of it.'
As the Chief ceased speaking, the other brigands also remained silent, speechless with admiration of his cleverness.
`Well, what do you think of it?' he asked.
`Think of it!' cried Grinder, enthusiastically. `I think it's splendid! Nothing could be better. If we can honly git away with it, I reckon it'll be one of the smartest thing we've ever done.'
`Smart ain't the word for it,' observed Rushton.
`There's no doubt it's a grand idear!' exclaimed Didlum, `and I've just thought of something else that might be done to help it along. We could arrange to 'ave a lot of letters sent "To the Editor of the Obscurer" and "To the Editor of the Ananias," and "To the Editor of the Weekly Chloroform" in favour of the scheme.'
`Yes, that's a very good idea,' said Grinder. `For that matter the editors could write them to themselves and sign them "Progress", "Ratepayer", "Advance Mugsborough", and sich-like.'
`Yes, that's all right,' said the Chief, thoughtfully, `but we must be careful not to overdo it; of course there will have to be a certain amount of publicity, but we don't want to create too much interest in it.' `Come to think of it,' observed Rushton arrogantly, `why should we trouble ourselves about the opinion of the ratepayers at all? Why should we trouble to fake the books, or declare a dividend or 'ave the harticles in the papers or anything else?