The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists [176]
We've got the game in our own 'ands; we've got a majority in the Council, and, as Mr Sweater ses, very few people even take the trouble to read the reports of the meetings.'
`Yes, that's right enough,' said Grinder. `But it's just them few wot would make a lot of trouble and talk; THEY'RE the very people we 'as to think about. If we can only manage to put THEM in a fog we'll be all right, and the way to do it is as Mr Sweater proposes.'
`Yes, I think so,' said the Chief. `We must be very careful. I can work it all right in the Ananias and the Chloroform, and of course you'll see that the Obscurer backs us up.'
`I'll take care of that,' said Grinder, grimly.
The three local papers were run by limited companies. Sweater held nearly all the shares of the Ananias and of the Weekly Chloroform, and controlled their policy and contents. Grinder occupied the same position with regard to the Obscurer. The editors were a sort of marionettes who danced as Sweater and Grinder pulled the strings.
`I wonder how Dr Weakling will take it?' remarked Rushton.
`That's the very thing I was just thinkin' about,' cried Didlum. `Don't you think it would be a good plan if we could arrange to 'ave somebody took bad - you know, fall down in a fit or something in the street just outside the Town 'All just before the matter is brought forward in the Council, and then 'ave someone to come and call 'im out to attend to the party wot's ill, and keep 'im out till the business is done.'
`Yes, that's a capital idear,' said Grinder thoughtfully. `But who could we get to 'ave the fit? It would 'ave to be someone we could trust, you know.'
`'Ow about Rushton? You wouldn't mind doin' it, would yer?' inquired Didlum.
`I should strongly object,' said Rushton haughtily. He regarded the suggestion that he should act such an undignified part, as a kind of sacrilege.
`Then I'll do it meself if necessary,' said Didlum. `I'm not proud when there's money to be made; anything for an honest living.'
`Well, I think we're all agreed, so far,' remarked Sweater. The others signified assent.
`And I think we all deserve a drink,' the Chief continued, producing a decanter and a box of cigars from a cupboard by the side of his desk. `Pass that water bottle from behind you, Didlum.'
`I suppose nobody won't be comin' in?' said the latter, anxiously. `I'm a teetotaler, you know.'
`Oh, it's all right,' said Sweater, taking four glasses out of the cupboard and pouring out the whisky. `I've given orders that we're not to be disturbed for anyone. Say when.'
`Well, 'ere's success to Socialism,' cried Grinder, raising his glass, and taking a big drink.
`Amen - 'ear, 'ear, I mean,' said Didlum, hastily correcting himself.
`Wot I likes about this 'ere business is that we're not only doin' ourselves a bit of good,' continued Grinder with a laugh, `we're not only doin' ourselves a bit of good, but we're likewise doin' the Socialists a lot of 'arm. When the ratepayers 'ave bought the Works, and they begins to kick up a row because they're losin' money over it - we can tell 'em that it's Socialism! And then they'll say that if that's Socialism they don't want no more of it.'
The other brigands laughed gleefully, and some of Didlum's whisky went down the wrong way and nearly sent him into a fit.
`You might as well kill a man at once,' he protested as he wiped the tears from his eyes, `you might as well kill a man at once as choke 'im to death.'
`And now I've got a bit of good news for you,' said the Chief as he put his empty glass down.
The others became serious at once.
`Although we've had a very rough time of it in our contest with the Gasworks Company, and although we've got the worst of it, it hasn't been all lavender for them, you know. They've not enjoyed themselves either: we hit them pretty hard when we put up the coal dues.'
`A damn good job too,' said Grinder malignantly.
`Well,' continued Sweater, `they're just as sick of the fight as they want to be, because of course they don't know exactly
`Yes, that's right enough,' said Grinder. `But it's just them few wot would make a lot of trouble and talk; THEY'RE the very people we 'as to think about. If we can only manage to put THEM in a fog we'll be all right, and the way to do it is as Mr Sweater proposes.'
`Yes, I think so,' said the Chief. `We must be very careful. I can work it all right in the Ananias and the Chloroform, and of course you'll see that the Obscurer backs us up.'
`I'll take care of that,' said Grinder, grimly.
The three local papers were run by limited companies. Sweater held nearly all the shares of the Ananias and of the Weekly Chloroform, and controlled their policy and contents. Grinder occupied the same position with regard to the Obscurer. The editors were a sort of marionettes who danced as Sweater and Grinder pulled the strings.
`I wonder how Dr Weakling will take it?' remarked Rushton.
`That's the very thing I was just thinkin' about,' cried Didlum. `Don't you think it would be a good plan if we could arrange to 'ave somebody took bad - you know, fall down in a fit or something in the street just outside the Town 'All just before the matter is brought forward in the Council, and then 'ave someone to come and call 'im out to attend to the party wot's ill, and keep 'im out till the business is done.'
`Yes, that's a capital idear,' said Grinder thoughtfully. `But who could we get to 'ave the fit? It would 'ave to be someone we could trust, you know.'
`'Ow about Rushton? You wouldn't mind doin' it, would yer?' inquired Didlum.
`I should strongly object,' said Rushton haughtily. He regarded the suggestion that he should act such an undignified part, as a kind of sacrilege.
`Then I'll do it meself if necessary,' said Didlum. `I'm not proud when there's money to be made; anything for an honest living.'
`Well, I think we're all agreed, so far,' remarked Sweater. The others signified assent.
`And I think we all deserve a drink,' the Chief continued, producing a decanter and a box of cigars from a cupboard by the side of his desk. `Pass that water bottle from behind you, Didlum.'
`I suppose nobody won't be comin' in?' said the latter, anxiously. `I'm a teetotaler, you know.'
`Oh, it's all right,' said Sweater, taking four glasses out of the cupboard and pouring out the whisky. `I've given orders that we're not to be disturbed for anyone. Say when.'
`Well, 'ere's success to Socialism,' cried Grinder, raising his glass, and taking a big drink.
`Amen - 'ear, 'ear, I mean,' said Didlum, hastily correcting himself.
`Wot I likes about this 'ere business is that we're not only doin' ourselves a bit of good,' continued Grinder with a laugh, `we're not only doin' ourselves a bit of good, but we're likewise doin' the Socialists a lot of 'arm. When the ratepayers 'ave bought the Works, and they begins to kick up a row because they're losin' money over it - we can tell 'em that it's Socialism! And then they'll say that if that's Socialism they don't want no more of it.'
The other brigands laughed gleefully, and some of Didlum's whisky went down the wrong way and nearly sent him into a fit.
`You might as well kill a man at once,' he protested as he wiped the tears from his eyes, `you might as well kill a man at once as choke 'im to death.'
`And now I've got a bit of good news for you,' said the Chief as he put his empty glass down.
The others became serious at once.
`Although we've had a very rough time of it in our contest with the Gasworks Company, and although we've got the worst of it, it hasn't been all lavender for them, you know. They've not enjoyed themselves either: we hit them pretty hard when we put up the coal dues.'
`A damn good job too,' said Grinder malignantly.
`Well,' continued Sweater, `they're just as sick of the fight as they want to be, because of course they don't know exactly