The Riddle of Gender - Deborah Rudacille [108]
Then came the saga of trying to find a gynecologist as a male. I’d call up and say, “I’d like to make an appointment,” and the receptionist would say, “This is gynecology.” And I’d say, “I know that.” And she’d say, “Do you know what we do in gynecology?” And I’d say, “I know what you do in gynecology. Could you just make an appointment with the doctor, please?” So I went to this guy, who did a hysterectomy and he’d never seen an FTM and he’d never heard of it, and he wasn’t very cool at first, but he kind of got okay.
One day before the surgery, the doctor said, “Do you want to be in a men’s room or a woman’s room?” And I’m like, “You know, here’s the thing. I’m Thomas. If you put me in the woman’s room, she’s going to be like, ‘What is that man doing here?’ And if you put me in a man’s room, I’ll be really uncomfortable with that because I’m having a hysterectomy.” So he said, “I think I’ll get you a private room.” And that’s what we did.
The last appointment, when we went back there so that he could make sure everything was okay, the receptionist came out into the waiting room and she says, “Miss Thomas Kennard.” So now I have to stand up. The [receptionist] looks at me, she looks at Marianne. We go back to the room and [she] starts talking to Marianne, saying “When was your last period?” Marianne says, “I’m not the patient.” The [receptionist] just kept it up. Marianne said, “I’m not the patient. He’s the patient. He had the hysterectomy. He needs to see the doctor.” The woman just went white.
MARIANNE: She was an older lady. She was really just afraid. She was freaked out.
KENNARD: I was really uncomfortable. I said, “You know, I have to go to the men’s room. I can’t even do this.” I said, “Where’s the men’s room?” And she’s like this. [Frozen]
MARIANNE: She couldn’t even speak. She was afraid.
KENNARD: So I went out, and when I came back she was gone. Marianne had gotten rid of her. What did you say?
MARIANNE: I said, “What are you afraid of?” I don’t even remember now exactly what I said. She was terrified.
Q: I’ve heard a lot about gynecologic problems among transmen.
KENNARD: We all seem to get this problem with the cramps, because of the testosterone. But other than that, I only had menopause early. You’d have to pull teeth to get me to a gynecologist. Going to a gynecologist is like acknowledging that you are really female somehow, and we’re not having any of that. Like, I didn’t know where my uterus was. They made me get a sonogram before my surgery, and they didn’t tell the woman [technician] anything, I guess. And she’s running it over my abdomen, looking over at the monitor, looking at me. She asks me, “Can I ask you a really personal question? Do you have ambiguous genitals?” So I said, “No, I’m just a regular transsexual.”
Q: And what was her response?
KENNARD:“Oh, okay.” She was really nice. But then this gynecologist wrote me a note and said that I had to have a mammogram. And I called for the appointment and I went there for it, and they helped every woman in the room. Finally: “Can I help you, sir?” I said, “I have an appointment at two.” And she said, “Well, you don’t have one here, but I’ll find out where it is.” And then she’s like, “Oh, you do have one here.” And we go back, and I said, “Marianne has to go in the room with me.” And I think this woman was a lesbian and she was my age, and she was not happy with the situation.
MARIANNE: She really wasn’t.
KENNARD: She said, “No, nobody can go in.” I said, “Marianne has to go in. We have to figure out a way for this to happen.” So I got her in there. But she didn’t give me a thing to cover up. I’m already sensitive, because I’m really hairy. I felt like a freak.
MARIANNE: And I remember saying, because he was so freaked out, “Maybe we should say something to her, like ‘I’m really uncomfortable with this situation,’” because then the person will usually, even