The School For Scandal [3]
subsisting between his Brother Charles and Maria.
LADY SNEERWELL. Then at once to unravel this mistery--I must
inform you that Love has no share whatever in the intercourse
between Mr. Surface and me.
VERJUICE. No!
LADY SNEERWELL. His real attachment is to Maria or her Fortune--
but finding in his Brother a favoured Rival, He has been obliged
to mask his Pretensions--and profit by my Assistance.
VERJUICE. Yet still I am more puzzled why you should interest
yourself in his success.
LADY SNEERWELL. Heavens! how dull you are! cannot you surmise
the weakness which I hitherto, thro' shame have concealed even
from you--must I confess that Charles--that Libertine, that
extravagant, that Bankrupt in Fortune and Reputation--that He
it is for whom I am thus anxious and malicious and to gain whom
I would sacrifice--everything----
VERJUICE. Now indeed--your conduct appears consistent and I
no longer wonder at your enmity to Maria, but how came you and
Surface so confidential?
LADY SNEERWELL. For our mutual interest--but I have found out
him a long time since[,] altho' He has contrived to deceive
everybody beside--I know him to be artful selfish and malicious--
while with Sir Peter, and indeed with all his acquaintance,
He passes for a youthful Miracle of Prudence--good sense
and Benevolence.
VERJUICE. Yes yes--I know Sir Peter vows He has not his equal
in England; and, above all, He praises him as a MAN OF SENTIMENT.
LADY SNEERWELL. True and with the assistance of his sentiments
and hypocrisy he has brought Sir Peter entirely in his interests
with respect to Maria and is now I believe attempting to flatter
Lady Teazle into the same good opinion towards him--while poor
Charles has no Friend in the House--though I fear he has a powerful
one in Maria's Heart, against whom we must direct our schemes.
SERVANT. Mr. Surface.
LADY SNEERWELL. Shew him up. He generally calls about this Time.
I don't wonder at People's giving him to me for a Lover.
Enter SURFACE
SURFACE. My dear Lady Sneerwell, how do you do to-day--your most
obedient.
LADY SNEERWELL. Miss Verjuice has just been arraigning me on our
mutual attachment now; but I have informed her of our real views
and the Purposes for which our Geniuses at present co-operate.
You know how useful she has been to us--and believe me the confidence
is not ill-placed.
SURFACE. Madam, it is impossible for me to suspect that a Lady of
Miss Verjuice's sensibility and discernment----
LADY SNEERWELL. Well--well--no compliments now--but tell me when
you saw your mistress or what is more material to me your Brother.
SURFACE. I have not seen either since I saw you--but I can inform
you that they are at present at Variance--some of your stories have
taken good effect on Maria.
LADY SNEERWELL. Ah! my dear Verjuice the merit of this belongs
to you. But do your Brother's Distresses encrease?
SURFACE. Every hour. I am told He had another execution in his
house yesterday--in short his Dissipation and extravagance exceed
anything I have ever heard of.
LADY SNEERWELL. Poor Charles!
SURFACE. True Madam--notwithstanding his Vices one can't help
feeling for him--ah poor Charles! I'm sure I wish it was in
my Power to be of any essential Service to him--for the man
who does not share in the Distresses of a Brother--even though
merited by his own misconduct--deserves----
LADY SNEERWELL. O Lud you are going to be moral, and forget
that you are among Friends.
SURFACE. Egad, that's true--I'll keep that sentiment till I see
Sir Peter. However it is certainly a charity to rescue Maria from
such a Libertine who--if He is to be reclaim'd, can be so only by a
Person of your Ladyship's superior accomplishments and understanding.
VERJUICE. 'Twould be a Hazardous experiment.
SURFACE. But--Madam--let me caution you to place no more confidence
in our Friend Snake the Libeller--I have lately detected him
in frequent conference with old Rowland [Rowley] who was formerly
my Father's