The School For Scandal [39]
Nay Sir----
SURFACE. Sir--I insist on't--here William show this Gentleman out.
Since you compel me Sir--not one moment--this is such insolence.
[Going to push him out.]
Enter CHARLES
CHARLES. Heyday! what's the matter now?--what the Devil have you
got hold of my little Broker here! Zounds--Brother, don't hurt
little Premium. What's the matter--my little Fellow?
SURFACE. So! He has been with you, too, has He--
CHARLES. To be sure He has! Why, 'tis as honest a little----
But sure Joseph you have not been borrowing money too have you?
SURFACE. Borrowing--no!--But, Brother--you know sure we expect
Sir Oliver every----
CHARLES. O Gad, that's true--Noll mustn't find the little Broker
here to be sure--
SURFACE. Yet Mr. Stanley insists----
CHARLES. Stanley--why his name's Premium--
SURFACE. No no Stanley.
CHARLES. No, no--Premium.
SURFACE. Well no matter which--but----
CHARLES. Aye aye Stanley or Premium, 'tis the same thing as you
say--for I suppose He goes by half a hundred Names, besides A. B's
at the Coffee-House. [Knock.]
SURFACE. 'Sdeath--here's Sir Oliver at the Door----Now I beg--
Mr. Stanley----
CHARLES. Aye aye and I beg Mr. Premium----
SIR OLIVER. Gentlemen----
SURFACE. Sir, by Heaven you shall go--
CHARLES. Aye out with him certainly----
SIR OLIVER. This violence----
SURFACE. 'Tis your own Fault.
CHARLES. Out with him to be sure.
[Both forcing SIR OLIVER out.]
Enter SIR PETER TEAZLE, LADY TEAZLE, MARIA, and ROWLEY
SIR PETER. My old Friend, Sir Oliver!--hey! what in the name
of wonder!--Here are dutiful Nephews!--assault their Unkle
at his first Visit!
LADY TEAZLE. Indeed Sir Oliver 'twas well we came in to rescue you.
ROWLEY. Truly it was--for I perceive Sir Oliver the character
of old Stanley was no Protection to you.
SIR OLIVER. Nor of Premium either--the necessities of the former
could not extort a shilling from that benevolent Gentleman; and
with the other I stood a chance of faring worse than my Ancestors,
and being knocked down without being bid for.
SURFACE. Charles!
CHARLES. Joseph!
SURFACE. 'Tis compleat!
CHARLES. Very!
SIR OLIVER. Sir Peter--my Friend and Rowley too--look on that
elder Nephew of mine--You know what He has already received from
my Bounty and you know also how gladly I would have look'd on half
my Fortune as held in trust for him--judge then my Disappointment
in discovering him to be destitute of Truth--Charity--and Gratitude--
SIR PETER. Sir Oliver--I should be more surprized at this
Declaration, if I had not myself found him to be selfish--
treacherous and Hypocritical.
LADY TEAZLE. And if the Gentleman pleads not guilty to these
pray let him call ME to his Character.
SIR PETER. Then I believe we need add no more--if He knows himself
He will consider it as the most perfect Punishment that He is known
to the world--
CHARLES. If they talk this way to Honesty--what will they say to ME
by and bye!
SIR OLIVER. As for that Prodigal--his Brother there----
CHARLES. Aye now comes my Turn--the damn'd Family Pictures will ruin
me--
SURFACE. Sir Oliver--Unkle--will you honour me with a hearing--
CHARLES. I wish Joseph now would make one of his long speeches and
I might recollect myself a little--
SIR OLIVER. And I suppose you would undertake to vindicate yourself
entirely--
SURFACE. I trust I could--
SIR OLIVER. Nay--if you desert your Roguery in its Distress and
try to be justified--you have even less principle than I thought
you had.--[To CHARLES SURFACE] Well, Sir--and YOU could JUSTIFY
yourself too I suppose--
CHARLES. Not that I know of, Sir Oliver.
SIR OLIVER. What[!] little Premium has been let too much into the
secret I presume.
CHARLES. True--Sir--but they were Family Secrets, and should not be
mentioned again you know.
ROWLEY. Come Sir Oliver I know you cannot speak of Charles's Follies
with anger.
SIR OLIVER. Odd's heart no more I can--nor with gravity
SURFACE. Sir--I insist on't--here William show this Gentleman out.
Since you compel me Sir--not one moment--this is such insolence.
[Going to push him out.]
Enter CHARLES
CHARLES. Heyday! what's the matter now?--what the Devil have you
got hold of my little Broker here! Zounds--Brother, don't hurt
little Premium. What's the matter--my little Fellow?
SURFACE. So! He has been with you, too, has He--
CHARLES. To be sure He has! Why, 'tis as honest a little----
But sure Joseph you have not been borrowing money too have you?
SURFACE. Borrowing--no!--But, Brother--you know sure we expect
Sir Oliver every----
CHARLES. O Gad, that's true--Noll mustn't find the little Broker
here to be sure--
SURFACE. Yet Mr. Stanley insists----
CHARLES. Stanley--why his name's Premium--
SURFACE. No no Stanley.
CHARLES. No, no--Premium.
SURFACE. Well no matter which--but----
CHARLES. Aye aye Stanley or Premium, 'tis the same thing as you
say--for I suppose He goes by half a hundred Names, besides A. B's
at the Coffee-House. [Knock.]
SURFACE. 'Sdeath--here's Sir Oliver at the Door----Now I beg--
Mr. Stanley----
CHARLES. Aye aye and I beg Mr. Premium----
SIR OLIVER. Gentlemen----
SURFACE. Sir, by Heaven you shall go--
CHARLES. Aye out with him certainly----
SIR OLIVER. This violence----
SURFACE. 'Tis your own Fault.
CHARLES. Out with him to be sure.
[Both forcing SIR OLIVER out.]
Enter SIR PETER TEAZLE, LADY TEAZLE, MARIA, and ROWLEY
SIR PETER. My old Friend, Sir Oliver!--hey! what in the name
of wonder!--Here are dutiful Nephews!--assault their Unkle
at his first Visit!
LADY TEAZLE. Indeed Sir Oliver 'twas well we came in to rescue you.
ROWLEY. Truly it was--for I perceive Sir Oliver the character
of old Stanley was no Protection to you.
SIR OLIVER. Nor of Premium either--the necessities of the former
could not extort a shilling from that benevolent Gentleman; and
with the other I stood a chance of faring worse than my Ancestors,
and being knocked down without being bid for.
SURFACE. Charles!
CHARLES. Joseph!
SURFACE. 'Tis compleat!
CHARLES. Very!
SIR OLIVER. Sir Peter--my Friend and Rowley too--look on that
elder Nephew of mine--You know what He has already received from
my Bounty and you know also how gladly I would have look'd on half
my Fortune as held in trust for him--judge then my Disappointment
in discovering him to be destitute of Truth--Charity--and Gratitude--
SIR PETER. Sir Oliver--I should be more surprized at this
Declaration, if I had not myself found him to be selfish--
treacherous and Hypocritical.
LADY TEAZLE. And if the Gentleman pleads not guilty to these
pray let him call ME to his Character.
SIR PETER. Then I believe we need add no more--if He knows himself
He will consider it as the most perfect Punishment that He is known
to the world--
CHARLES. If they talk this way to Honesty--what will they say to ME
by and bye!
SIR OLIVER. As for that Prodigal--his Brother there----
CHARLES. Aye now comes my Turn--the damn'd Family Pictures will ruin
me--
SURFACE. Sir Oliver--Unkle--will you honour me with a hearing--
CHARLES. I wish Joseph now would make one of his long speeches and
I might recollect myself a little--
SIR OLIVER. And I suppose you would undertake to vindicate yourself
entirely--
SURFACE. I trust I could--
SIR OLIVER. Nay--if you desert your Roguery in its Distress and
try to be justified--you have even less principle than I thought
you had.--[To CHARLES SURFACE] Well, Sir--and YOU could JUSTIFY
yourself too I suppose--
CHARLES. Not that I know of, Sir Oliver.
SIR OLIVER. What[!] little Premium has been let too much into the
secret I presume.
CHARLES. True--Sir--but they were Family Secrets, and should not be
mentioned again you know.
ROWLEY. Come Sir Oliver I know you cannot speak of Charles's Follies
with anger.
SIR OLIVER. Odd's heart no more I can--nor with gravity