The Secret Life of Evie Hamilton - Catherine Alliott [166]
‘I think we should also remember,’ he observed at length, and was it me or did his mouth twitch, ‘that only a very small part of you thought that.’
‘Well—’
‘And that many women wouldn't have admitted to it. Would have kept quiet.’
I struggled with this, tugged at the grass, tearing it up in handfuls, frowning. He wasn't going to let me have my hair shirt.
‘You don't seem very shocked,’ I muttered. ‘I thought it was quite a confession.’
‘I know you did. But let me tell you, Evie, if everyone held a mirror up to their soul like that, if everyone examined their motives so minutely, it wouldn't be a pretty sight. I too have a confession to make. If that man was found dead in a ditch tomorrow after his brakes failed on a sharp bend, I wouldn't be crying my eyes out either. In fact I might be dancing on his grave.’
Rather shocked, I followed his gaze to Ludo, who, back in brother-of-the-bride mode, was welcoming an elderly couple to the party, escorting them into the tent, but not before shooting an anxious glance over his shoulder in our direction.
‘Instead of which,’ Ant got to his feet, ‘I have to go over and offer him my hand. Apologize for wrecking his sister's wedding. For hitting him.’ He took my hand and helped me up too. ‘It's not a question of being good, Evie, it's a question of behaving well. However bad you might think you are, however much you feel opening your home to Stacey is a knee-jerk reaction to what, in your eyes, could have been a far worse situation, you still did the right thing. It's what we do that counts; not how we feel. It's what makes us civilized people. Distinguishes us from the beasts. Nurture over nature, see Prospero on this.’
‘Who?’
‘Never mind. We can't control what goes on in our hearts, but we can help how we behave. And with that bit of cod philosophy out of the way, I shall go and shake the bastard by the hand.’ He grinned sheepishly at his feet. Turned to go
‘I love you, Ant.’
He turned back, surprised. ‘I love you too.’ His eyes widened. His arms opened too and I walked into them. ‘More than you'll ever know,’ he whispered.
We kissed, then, like lovers do. Not like a thoroughly married couple. And then Ant turned away and strolled along the river bank, back towards the marquee.
32
I crossed the bridge over the river and made my way through the long grass on the other side, and then up the lawn to the house. I appeared to be hugging myself, smiling foolishly at my shoes. Grinning even. I gave myself a stern little shake as I went through the back door into the kitchen. I was pretty sure this would have replaced the marquee as the venue for the continuing saga of any Milligan family dramas, and a euphoric, post-clinch haze, having effectively reaffirmed my wedding vows with husband, might not necessarily be what was called for right now. Sure enough, as I made my way upstairs towards Caro's bedroom, I met my nephews, quietly exiting it, shutting the door softly behind them.
‘We took her a cup of tea,’ whispered Henry, tiptoeing wide-eyed down the corridor towards me. ‘Is it a nervy breaky, Evie?’
‘Oh, no, she's just upset.’
‘Still.’ He glanced back, evidently disappointed, at his mother's door. ‘She might need a couple of nights at the Priory, don't you think? If she's got issues? Maybe we should give her a laxative to calm her down?’
Jack snorted. ‘Sedative, you mean. A laxative will give her the trots.’
‘I'm sure she'll be fine,’ I assured them, shooing them downstairs and telling them to say as little as possible to Phoebe and Anna when they appeared. Although actually, I thought, as I opened the bedroom door and Caro rose, rigid from the waist from her pillows to stare at me, hair vertical, eyes seemingly rotating, a nice Valium sandwich might be just what my sister-in-law needed right now.
‘She took our