The Secret Lives of Hoarders_ True Stories of Tackling Extreme Clutter - Matt Paxton [56]
Each hoarder should have different homework that’s tailored to that hoarder’s particular issues. No matter what the homework, every hoarder needs to do those assignments every night, both during the cleaning and afterward, just like in school. The point of homework is to build the discipline of doing something to stay clean every single day.
▶ The Fire List
All hoarders have several key items that they want to locate and keep. Rick was looking for his house deed and employment letters. Daisy knew she had some savings bonds in her house. Aimee wanted to find her mother’s pearls. Margaret hoped we could find her hearing aid and a missing pair of glasses.
Hoarders should write down everything they would want to keep if there was a fire, limiting the list to the front of one piece of paper. While we don’t want to add to hoarders’ anxiety, we do actually make them go through the exercise of trying to find and gather the items on the fire list in two minutes—the time they would have if the house was on fire. This process proves to hoarders that they can’t actually find important items in that limited time frame. It also helps hoarders be selective in limiting the number of items. Making a list helps the hoarder learn and internalize organizational skills instead of just being told what and how to do something by family or friends.
Whatever the items, no matter how silly they may sound, they are gold to the hoarder. Finding them proves to the hoarder that the cleanup is effective and reinforces the hoarder’s trust. Usually a hoarder knows roughly (sometimes exactly) where the items are, so everyone should be made aware not only of what’s on the list but any clues that the hoarder provides as to their whereabouts. (We print copies of the fire list and tape it to the walls in every room, or make sure every team member has a copy.)
Creating a fire list on the first day—and reviewing it each day during the job—not only makes it more likely you’ll find the items, but also confirms to the hoarder that his or her wishes are being taken very seriously. The hoarder will realize that the entire team is there to find what the hoarder feels is important. When those items are uncovered, stop the cleanup and celebrate! Make sure everyone shares the feeling of success, because moments like that can get a team through a tough job.
▶ Process and Logistics
Everyone needs to know what the order of work will be—where the work will begin, what priorities have been set, how long everyone will be working, and so on. The logistics of the cleanup should be spelled out clearly, such as where items will be staged, where trash will be piled, and which door to use to enter and exit the house.
The Legacy Cleanup
WHEN JIM DIED, he left behind a house full of hoarded paperwork and collectibles for his three adult children to clean up. The kids were prepared—they knew the house was bad. Jim, who had been a well-educated preacher, had spent his life collecting memorabilia and historical collectibles from black history.
Jim’s children had tried on occasion to get their father to clean, but they respected him too much to start a fight. His house, although eight of the ten rooms were filled, was still safe. And up until his death he had been pretty selfsufficient, even after his wife had died and cleaning was the least of his concerns.
Under the circumstances, Jim’s family decided to leave him alone, but they knew that when their father died they’d have to clean and sell the house. In preparation for that eventuality, they asked their father if there were specific things that he would like the children—or anyone else, for that matter—to have. It was sort of an informal part