The Sky's the Limit - Marco Palmieri [126]
“But it is, Counselor. I do not live among androids. I live among humans and other humanoids. Installing the emotion chip was the only way to overcome my inability to relate to my friends and colleagues in the fullest possible way.”
She smiled sadly. “And has it worked the way you thought it would?” He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it, taking her point. “Maybe that’s part of the problem. You saw this chip as a solution to your difficulties, but it’s just created more. You haven’t achieved your longed-for understanding of humanity, and that may be reinforcing your feelings of deficiency.
“Data, perhaps the hostility and arrogance others sense from you is a preemptive defense against the disapproval you expect from them. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
He pondered her words for some time. “And…if this hypothesis were correct…what would be the treatment?”
She thought it over. “Maybe the key is to stop looking so hard for external causes and solutions. We’re all ultimately responsible for our own actions and choices. Even when we’re provoked by others, we still choose how we respond to that provocation. So you need to learn to manage your own emotional state regardless of whatever incitements or judgments you perceive from others.
“If the problem is with your own self-image, then the crucial thing is to make peace with it. If you do that, then nothing from outside can threaten your sense of self.”
“And how would I achieve this?”
“By learning to accept yourself on your own terms. Don’t worry about whether you’re human enough, or emotional enough, or liked enough by others. Don’t feel you have to conform to others’ expectations. Just try to be the best Data you can be. I know it seems paradoxical to say that the way to be more sensitive to others is to stop worrying about what they think of you. But dwelling on external causes for our emotional states can keep us from recognizing or exercising our own ability to manage them, to calm our own anxiety and find peace. And when we’re at peace with ourselves, it’s easier to make peace with others.”
After a while, Data shook his head. “I am sorry, Counselor, but I am not convinced by your analysis. I believe my problem is simply a matter of control and discipline, or else the result of a technological malfunction.” He stood. “However, I appreciate your reassurance that I am not likely to inflict physical harm on anyone, and I will endeavor to be more sensitive to the egos of my colleagues. Thank you for your time, Counselor.”
“Data, it won’t be that simple. If you’re thinking of returning to duty, I wouldn’t advise it yet.”
“Unfortunately, I am urgently needed on the Tamarian project. Captain Picard is counting on me. And I would appreciate it if you would tell the starbase commander that I am fit to return to duty.”
Deanna was reluctant to accede to Data’s request. As she saw it, he was in denial. She could understand his reticence to let go of a lifelong priority, to admit that the pursuit of humanity that he had devoted so much effort to might have been a fatuous goal. But she felt it was blinding him.
Moreover, she felt it had been a bad idea to let him return to duty so soon after installing the emotion chip. He was still at a juvenile level of emotional maturity, and while he could learn far faster than most humanoids, he still had a way to go, as his tantrum had shown.
But the pressure to return him to work was