The Spirit Stone - Katharine Kerr [119]
‘You taught me that trick yourself. You caught me off-guard in the meadow, but it won’t happen again. Laz, let me go!’
‘No.’
‘Why not? Do you think I’d betray you? Don’t be stupid! Of course I won’t.’
‘I know that. I won’t let you go because of two things. First, I need your help to work with the white crystal. Second, I want you to stay.’ He bent his head and touched her lips with his. ‘Please.’
She turned her head away and tried to twist free. For a brief moment he let her go, but only so he could fling his arms around her and pull her close. His sexual scent strengthened till it seemed to drift around them like a mist. Her heart began pounding as one strong hand slid down to her buttocks and caressed them. She felt herself gasp for breath. His scent filled her lungs. The cloth sack slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor.
‘It’ll be dark out soon,’ he said. ‘You can leave in the morning.’
‘I’ve got to leave now.’ But she could hear doubt shaking her voice.
‘No. Stay with me. Please?’
This time when he laid his mouth on hers she opened her lips and let him kiss her. His grip relaxed. She slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. He laughed and picked her up to carry her the short few steps to his bed. In his arms she could forget everything but his scent and his touch.
But much later, when he lay naked and asleep beside her, she remembered her goddess and her vows. She felt every muscle turn rigid as shame rose like vomit into her mouth. Her sudden rush of tears shocked her. I’ve betrayed Alshandra, she thought, and the thought made her sob aloud. Laz woke, rising up on one elbow in the darkness.
‘What’s wrong?’ he said.
‘What’s wrong?’ She could barely force out the words. ‘I’ve broken my holy vows. I—’ She was weeping too hard to finish.
She heard Laz sit up. A golden ball of light suddenly appeared, gleaming on the table in the middle of the room. By its glow she could see his knife-blade face, smiling at her.
‘I’m glad you did break them,’ he said. ‘You can’t go back now, you know. Some of your holy ladies are full-blooded Gel da’ Thae, aren’t they? They’ll smell the difference in you, and then they’ll throw you out of the order. You’ll only have to come back to me, so why bother leaving?’
Sidro sat up and turned her back on him. The tears were slackening. With one last sob she forced herself into a tight-strung composure. When he ran his hand down her naked back she wrenched herself away, then stood up, grabbing her shift from the floor as she did so. Her hands shook too badly for her to put it on. Behind her he laughed under his breath.
‘I suppose you think this is all a jest,’ she said. ‘You love to mock, don’t you? It’s not a jest to me.’
For a moment he was silent. ‘Sisi, Sisi, I’m sorry.’ He did sound contrite. ‘I didn’t realize it mattered this much to you. I thought—I don’t know what I thought. Forgive me.’
She heard him get up, felt his hands touch her shoulders, but lightly, gently. ‘Forgive me,’ he repeated. ‘I’ve hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. I thought you’d throw off that asinine vow like a cloak.’
The power to speak seemed to have deserted her. She stared at her shift, shaking in her trembling hands.
‘But you know,’ Laz went on, and he sounded positively cheerful, ‘I’m all you have now. You might as well stay.’
With a gulp for breath she found her voice. ‘Did you seduce me just to make sure I couldn’t go back?’
‘Of course not! I seduced you because I wanted you. Haven’t I always, from the very day Mother bought you? But I have to confess, that particular consequence of breaking your vow did cross my mind.’ His voice changed back to contrition. ‘But somehow I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. For that I’m sorry.’
‘Laz, I’ve never truly believed