The Treasure_ A Novel - Iris Johansen [116]
She strode out of the tent and went in search of Layla.
“You’re upset,” Layla said warily as Selene strode into her tent. “Did you argue with Kadar?”
“No, he was too busy mumbling idiocies about choices and Pompeii and Tarik and you living for centuries.”
“Oh.”
“Well, talk to me.” Selene plopped down on the cushions. “And don’t tell me to go slowly or that I’m not ready or I’ll throw a pitcher at you.”
“I wouldn’t want that.” Layla smiled. “There’s going to be enough violence tomorrow. What did he tell you?”
“Nothing. He’s being as cautious and annoying as the rest of you.” She bit her lower lip. “He told me he had no choice. What did he mean?”
“It seems he was very clumsy.”
“What did he mean?”
Layla dropped down on the cushions across from her. “Shall I start at the beginning?”
“If you don’t, I’ll strangle you.”
“Another threat?” Layla clucked reprovingly. “Since all this is clearly Kadar’s fault, I really think he should get the brunt of this.” She held up her hand to stem Selene’s words. “Very well, I’ll tell you all that Kadar knows.”
The tent was silent for a long time before Selene whispered, “A thousand years . . .”
Layla nodded. “It sounds like a long time, but it passes more quickly than you would think.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me that Kadar had already taken Eshe?”
“Did you really want to know?” Layla asked. “Kadar said you could think only of Nasim.”
She supposed that was true. If she had not been so obsessed, she would have suspected Kadar was keeping something from her. “And I’m the one who gave Kadar the potion.”
“You didn’t know what it was.”
“Tarik did.”
“And it saved Kadar’s life. Would you have him dead?”
“No.” She remembered saying that she didn’t care if it was sorcery as long as it cured Kadar. “I’d give it to him again tomorrow if it meant keeping him alive.”
“Well, it will keep him alive for a long, long time.” Layla paused. “He did not ask you to take it too?”
“No. I don’t think he will. I told him—it frightens me.”
“More than seeing yourself grow weak and old while Kadar remains young and strong? More than leaving him alone when he needs you?”
“You want me to do it?”
“I’m saying it’s a decision with which you have to come to terms. You can’t hide your head in the ground and ignore the facts.”
“I don’t even know if they are facts or if it’s some outrageous myth. I don’t know anything about Eshe.”
“Neither do we. We can’t give it to enough people to gather a full picture.”
“So you pick and choose?”
She nodded. “What else can we do?”
“On what basis?”
“Do you want me to say we have rules? We don’t. Sometimes it’s someone who is brilliant and has much still to give to the world. Sometimes it’s only someone whom we cannot bear to lose.”
“No rules?”
“Choice. They have to agree.”
“And what of their families?”
“We aren’t monsters, but the quantities are scarce. Each person we choose to receive Eshe is allowed five vials of their own. No more.”
“And they have to choose who in their family is to live, who is to die?”
“I never said we were perfect. We do what we can.”
“I couldn’t do it.”
“You could do it. I did.”
“You didn’t do it. You had no children.” She stiffened as the thought sank home. “Children—is the reason you have no children because of Eshe?”
“At first I thought it was, but there have been other women given Eshe who later conceived and gave birth.” Her lips twisted. “So I cannot blame it on the potion. I’m just barren.”
“And what of the children? Are they frozen in time like you and Tarik?”
“You mean, do they never grow up? Eshe doesn’t work like that. Growth takes place the way God intended. When the growth ends, the aging stops.”
“But you couldn’t know that. You must have taken horrible chances giving the potion to children.”
“I didn’t give it.” She added deliberately, “But I didn’t stop it being given. The first child to take it was the eight-year-old son of a Greek woman. His name was Niko, and I was very fond of him.”
“Not fond enough to wait until he was grown.”
“Do you know how many children die each year? How few reach their