The Way We Were_ A Novel - Marcia Willett [37]
‘I choose the future.’ She speaks aloud, though she isn't quite certain whether she is reassuring herself or her grandmother. As if some kind of action is required to reinforce the vow, she gets up from the bed and puts the pieces of jewellery away. She folds the letter, places it inside her copy of The Hollow Hills and goes downstairs.
In the kitchen, chaos reigns: Bella has been copiously sick and the twins are holding on to a struggling Charlie whilst Julia is trying to clean up the floor and fend off an interested Turk. Tiggy turfs both dogs into the garden, picks Charlie up and passes Julia some more newspaper.
‘I was thinking that it's a good day for the beach,’ she says. ‘We could make a picnic lunch and go to Rock.’
The twins cheer and hop about with delighted anticipation; Julia looks up, pushing her hair back with her forearm, her face bright with pleased surprise.
‘Shall we?’ she asks. ‘I must admit that it sounds great. But are you … you know … are you OK now?’
‘I'm fine,’ Tiggy says, twirling round so as to make Charlie chuckle. ‘Aren't I, Charlie?’ She begins to sing her own version of Mud's ‘Tiger Feet’ with growly noises that make him chuckle even louder. ‘Go on,’ she says to Liv and Andy, whilst Julia dumps the newspaper in the rubbish bin and pours hot water and disinfectant into a pail. ‘Go and find the buckets and spades and your warm jerseys, and I'll make some sandwiches.’
As Julia mops the floor, watched by Charlie from his high chair, Tiggy cuts sandwiches, puts some Munchmallows in a tin, and makes up a flask of Ribena. Her courage is renewed but she can see how crucial it is to cling to what is positive and how easy to embrace despair, from very early in her life she learned that life is neither fair nor straightforward, but since Tom's death it has become even more difficult to keep focused on her determination to be hopeful: the battle to maintain a balance is a moment-to-moment affair. It doesn't do to look too far ahead or to postpone simple pleasures; happiness is ephemeral and must be seized.
She thinks: We'll probably never be happier than we are now. One day we'll look back and remember the way we were today, young and strong and planning an afternoon on the beach with the children. I wonder what it will be like in twenty years’ time when the twins will be nearly as old as we are now. Where shall we all be then?
Julia comes in from emptying the pail. ‘Bella's been sick again in the back porch,’ she says, resigned. ‘The Turk seems to have eaten most of it, but is there any more newspaper?’
‘I've been thinking,’ Tiggy says later that afternoon. They lie stretched out in the sunshine, propped on their elbows, Charlie asleep on the rug between them and the twins building an enormous fort on the sand nearby. ‘Pete will be home in a few weeks and I think it'll be a good idea if I take myself off for a while.’
‘Oh,’ says Julia, flustered. ‘Well …’ She flushes brightly, rolling over and sitting up, staring across the water to Padstow whilst she lights a cigarette. ‘I'd hate you to think you were in the way or anything. Pete's looking forward to seeing you.’
‘Come on,’ grins Tiggy. ‘You don't think I want to play gooseberry for a fortnight, do you? He's been away for nearly three months, after all.’
Julia smiles, still a little embarrassed. ‘To tell you the truth, I've been thinking about it too. In fact, I wrote to Pete and we had an idea. We wondered if you'd look after the dogs and the house for us while we do a trip upcountry. We haven't seen the parents for ages and we thought we'd visit them and then go on for a week somewhere with the kids. It would be great fun if you don't mind having Bella. Pete's mother finds three children and the dog a bit much these days. My parents aren't bothered but they're younger. Thank God they all live in Hampshire. It makes life much easier. Could you cope?’
‘Of course