Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me - Ben Karlin [31]
JESSICA: Oh my God. So funny.
RODNEY: So what kind of memories do you have after junior high school?
JESSICA: Sam and I hung out and we were friends, but after [junior high school] we mainly drifted apart and I don’t remember seeing her so much in high school. But I remember seeing you throughout high school [because we were in the same alternative school program]. Ummm . . . and I remember seeing you and being very aware of you, which is kind of odd because you would think I would be more aware of your sister, and we were BFF forever when we were younger.
RODNEY: How do you remember? I mean, like . . .
JESSICA: And and and [stammers] honestly—and I am being honest because we are doing the interview, so don’t be repeating all this information—but honestly, I think, like, I always had a little crush on you, like in high school.
RODNEY: Really.
JESSICA: And, you know, and even after that.
RODNEY: But . . . why would you [laughs] . . .
JESSICA: Yeah [laughs].
RODNEY: But why would you also . . . that’s a hard thing for me to process. It’s hard for me to process what you said, so I need to change the subject.
JESSICA: Let me ask you a question. It’s off topic.
RODNEY: Okay, that’s no problem.
JESSICA: Did you test the recording first?
RODNEY: No. It’s blinking red and I tested it before, so I am praying.
JESSICA: Okay, I was just wondering, because I can tell you now that there is no chance that I can do this interview again [giggles].
RODNEY: [Laughs]
JESSICA: No, this is a one-shot deal.
RODNEY: I am sure . . . I understand.
JESSICA: Okay.
RODNEY: Umm, I was gonna . . . How is that true [that you had a crush on me] but yet you don’t remember anything about us going out in eighth grade?
JESSICA: Ummmm, let me think. . . . I don’t know. You, like . . . even if it’s someone you are not looking at in a romantic way. Even if . . . even . . . I don’t know . . . even if you should have looked at that person like that . . . Does that make any sense?
RODNEY: Yeah.
JESSICA: Okay, so something like that.
RODNEY: Yeah . . . the reason I remember all this stuff so well is that it made a strong impression on me at the time. You know, it makes an impression when you think about it a lot. I guess . . . ummm . . . you were like my supercrush. You were the first hard-core crush I had, and like the one that . . . like I remember most of my interactions with you. I had a big crush on you throughout high school. Does that surprise you?
JESSICA: No [laughs]. It didn’t—doesn’t surprise me.
RODNEY: Did anyone tell you that?
JESSICA: No.
RODNEY: No one ever told you that?
JESSICA: No.
RODNEY: Because I talked about it a lot. I talked about it all the time. If you just called up any of my friends and said, “Who did Rodney Rothman have a big crush on in high school?,” they would say . . .
JESSICA: [Laughs] Right. Umm . . . it wasn’t that.
RODNEY: I don’t think I was the only one. A lot of guys had a crush on you. Was that something that you are aware of?
JESSICA: Oh my God [pauses]. Ummm . . . yeah. I mean . . . let’s say that I am somewhat crushable [giggles].
RODNEY: [Laughs] That’s something you walk around knowing?
JESSICA: Yeah. If it was about dating boys, that wasn’t something I was too worried about. I like to flirt.
RODNEY: Right right right.
JESSICA: It comes somewhat naturally.
RODNEY: Yeah, I think that’s . . . I think that’s part of why, you know . . . like why I like you or why I had a crush on you, rather than the other five hundred people we were growing up with, is that . . . yeah, like there was something even when we were like twelve or thirteen years old. There was something going on that I didn’t fully comprehend, but I knew it was kind of awesome. Ya know? [Giggles] And that I wanted to be around it. Ya know what I mean? It was like a flirtatiousness or sexiness. Now it seems gross to think of a