This Is a Book - Demetri Martin [35]
51. Uncommon fraternity name.
52. Stadium section that is high up.
54. What appears when a certain key on a computer keyboard sticks.
61. Sound of someone starting to say the alphabet in a cave.
63. Five indefinite articles.
64. American Association of Anesthesiology Assistants, abbr.
65. One way to jump four octaves.
66. What it sounds like when trying to pluck 46 Across.
67. Some white piano keys.
68. Anagram of 5 Across.
69. Type of battery used in many TV remotes.
70. Homophone of “foray”?
DOWN
1. Best grades of milk, beef, eggs, and yogurt.
2. First letter of first four states, alphabetically.
3. Four Rolodex tabs from four different Rolodexes.
4. Overheard in a dentist’s office.
5. 43690, in hexadecimal.
6. A strange thing to teach a parrot to say.
7. Found in a spoon while eating Alphabits cereal.
8. Angels’, Diamond Backs’, Braves’ hats.
9. All of the vowels from a famous palindrome about a famous canal.
10. What it might look like as a letter is falling off a sign.
11. Authentication, Authorization, Accounting, and Auditing (remote access security approach that controls network access), for short.
13. Portion of SAT answer sheet from person who did not do well on test.
14. What audiences gave a guy onstage the last five times he asked for it.
20. Lower Merion Little League division for players who are 11 years old as of April 30th.
21. Heard as person in 41 Across continues to struggle.
25. Part of “Hey Jude.”
26. Excerpt from notebook of child learning how to write.
27. One way to write the phone number (222) 222-2222.
28. Every other letter in the 22nd state.
29. First characters of five adjacent parking spaces, located on the first level of a parking structure.
30. A lazyassword.
31. 22 Across, backwards.
33. __-line dress, __-line coat, __-line haircut.
35. High-score holder in numerous arcade games.
37. Found on piece of paper, in wastebasket, in Calligraphy class.
39. A bunch of window seats on an airplane.
42. Items found in a rubber stamp kit.
44. “La La La La,” in Solflege, C Major.
47. Found on five of Hester Prynne’s outfits?
49. Unlikely hand in Scrabble.
52. Strong rating for cultured pearls.
53. Elicited during a foot rub.
55. The not famous, but actual “_______ Hotelwelt Kuebler” hotel in Karlsruhe, Germany.
56. 13 Down minus 31 Across.
57. Albany Area Amateur Astronomers, abbr.
58. Sound you might hear if “A Hard Day’s Night” skips on the third word in the song.
59. All of the vowels in the name of the “Land of Opportunity” state.
60. Opening Morse code signal sent in order to get receiver’s attention.
62. What one might say when viewing this puzzle.
Sheila
George was drunk. He wobbled on the surface of the frozen lake. He had been drinking a lot lately. It started shortly after Lori left. After being together for only a few months, George had asked Lori to move in with him. She told him she wanted to see the world. George told her he loved her. She said she thought things were moving too fast. Then George went and got her name tattooed on his leg. When he showed Lori the tattoo, she cried and kissed him. The next day she left to see the world. That was four months ago.
Standing there on the lake with his buddies, drinking vodka out of a red plastic cup, George tried not to think about Lori. But it was no use. Today was the three-week anniversary of the last time he spoke to her. Lori had called collect from India that day, from a small village just outside of Varanasi. The phone connection was bad and the conversation was short.
“I just shaved my head,” Lori replied. “I think my spirit animal is a caribou.”
“Oh.” George was happy to hear her voice, even with the bad connection. It made her sound like she was floating in space or something. And she might as well have been. India was a world away.
“When do you think you’ll be back?” George asked, trying not to sound too desperate.
“Um…” Lori replied, “Ooh, I’ve got to run. We